Ladies, let me tell you about myself
I got a dick for a brain
And my brain is gonna sell my ass to you
Now I'm OK, but in time I'll find I'm stuck
'Cause she wants love, and I still want to fuck
Now that I'm ashamed, it burns
But the weight is off
Now that you're out of the way
I turn and I can walk
You showed no sympathy, my love
And this was no place for you and me to walk alone
On my grave, am I OK?
I'm sure I'm not
Ladies let me tell you about my love
She kept giving me more
But it wasn't enough
So understand
Now that I come to you
To understand my little self
To understand my little self
And baby you be sweet
Monday, July 14, 2008
Let's Talk Shop
I am to be found banging my head against the wall. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
Why am I stupid? Cause I am crap at negotiations.
I am a crap businesswoman. I am the sort who would buy a piece of candy wholesale for 50 cents a piece and sell it for 25 retail.
Let's start with School A. I have been working for B for two years now as a freelance English Teacher. The pay is crap, around 12.50 an hour. I say crap because compared to other language schools, who pay freelancers 18 an hour, you would say that I am getting the short end of the stick. However, the fact I can roll out of bed and teach because I've got the material down pat and don't have to spend hours preparing for the lesson counts for something. The fact that I am also paid a unit for a test I didn't even write is a major plus.
School B is a trade school that I started working for last March. I asked for 24 an hour, they said that all they could offer me is 18 during the probationary period. I said ok.
But shit it is GD hard work.I spend as much time in the classroom as I do preparing for lessons and checking homework. I earn 9 euros effectively, as I put so much effing work into each effing lesson.
I had renegotiations today and I blew it. I settled for effing 20 an hour, which was they made clear at the very beginning was how much they were willing to pay. I don't mean to sound greedy, but geez I am basically settling for so much work, and I have to pay for my own health insurance and taxes. She started by already planning out the next semester, before talking about pay. I mean, I am very interested in what I am going to teach there, it's more challenging than the grammar shit I do at school A. I really need to get rid of this Filipino thing of being afraid to talk about money.
Aaargh, I just think money is money, no matter the source and the work I did to get it. But sometimes I wonder if I always sell myself short?
Why am I stupid? Cause I am crap at negotiations.
I am a crap businesswoman. I am the sort who would buy a piece of candy wholesale for 50 cents a piece and sell it for 25 retail.
Let's start with School A. I have been working for B for two years now as a freelance English Teacher. The pay is crap, around 12.50 an hour. I say crap because compared to other language schools, who pay freelancers 18 an hour, you would say that I am getting the short end of the stick. However, the fact I can roll out of bed and teach because I've got the material down pat and don't have to spend hours preparing for the lesson counts for something. The fact that I am also paid a unit for a test I didn't even write is a major plus.
School B is a trade school that I started working for last March. I asked for 24 an hour, they said that all they could offer me is 18 during the probationary period. I said ok.
But shit it is GD hard work.I spend as much time in the classroom as I do preparing for lessons and checking homework. I earn 9 euros effectively, as I put so much effing work into each effing lesson.
I had renegotiations today and I blew it. I settled for effing 20 an hour, which was they made clear at the very beginning was how much they were willing to pay. I don't mean to sound greedy, but geez I am basically settling for so much work, and I have to pay for my own health insurance and taxes. She started by already planning out the next semester, before talking about pay. I mean, I am very interested in what I am going to teach there, it's more challenging than the grammar shit I do at school A. I really need to get rid of this Filipino thing of being afraid to talk about money.
Aaargh, I just think money is money, no matter the source and the work I did to get it. But sometimes I wonder if I always sell myself short?
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
Wir Sind Vom Selben Stern
I have always had what my husband considers an unhealthy fascination for homosexuals. I am myself not one, but I have always been strongly attracted to, or completely at ease with, homosexuals.
I started to read up on FTM (female to male) transgendered people. I was randomly surfing the net two years ago when I came across Buck Angel, a former model turned porn star and FTM advocate, and I was hooked. Even before that guy in Oregon got pregnant, before I saw Boys Don't Cry and Transamerica, I was fascinated at how people can transform their outward appearance to suit how they wanted to look, of how your life choices and lifestyle affect your body.
It is unfortunate that I lump transgendered people with gay people. They are obviously not the same thing, but my point is that I am pretty open-minded and well-informed when it comes to people with sexuality or gender-identity differences.
I recently discovered that one of my good friends is a MTF transgendered person. An acquaintance had a Freudian slip (? I don't really believe that it was accidental), and told me. I was quite shocked, but I acted as if I suspected all along. I mean, I've always noticed that her hips were so slender for a woman. But then again, many women have slender hips.
I really had no inkling that she was transgendered. Honestly, it does't matter to me, she is still a person after all, deserving to be treated with respect and dignity. It really wasn't nice of the person to reveal this tidbit to me. I would have preferred for the truth to come out of the horse's mouth. Now I am left wondering how to act when we meet again. Of course, she would notice something amiss if I treat her differently. Should I continue the charade of pretending that she was born female? What if I tread upon a topic that inadvertently steps on her feelings? There was this one time when we talked about anal sex, and she seemed awfully quiet.
How should I react when, in her own due time,she decides to reveal to me her origins? How do I react? Should I ask questions? Should I pretend indifference? I will accept her all the same, but the method of my acceptance could be something that could make or break our friendship. She is a lovely person, and I don't want to say the wrong thing.
Only time can tell, right?
I started to read up on FTM (female to male) transgendered people. I was randomly surfing the net two years ago when I came across Buck Angel, a former model turned porn star and FTM advocate, and I was hooked. Even before that guy in Oregon got pregnant, before I saw Boys Don't Cry and Transamerica, I was fascinated at how people can transform their outward appearance to suit how they wanted to look, of how your life choices and lifestyle affect your body.
It is unfortunate that I lump transgendered people with gay people. They are obviously not the same thing, but my point is that I am pretty open-minded and well-informed when it comes to people with sexuality or gender-identity differences.
I recently discovered that one of my good friends is a MTF transgendered person. An acquaintance had a Freudian slip (? I don't really believe that it was accidental), and told me. I was quite shocked, but I acted as if I suspected all along. I mean, I've always noticed that her hips were so slender for a woman. But then again, many women have slender hips.
I really had no inkling that she was transgendered. Honestly, it does't matter to me, she is still a person after all, deserving to be treated with respect and dignity. It really wasn't nice of the person to reveal this tidbit to me. I would have preferred for the truth to come out of the horse's mouth. Now I am left wondering how to act when we meet again. Of course, she would notice something amiss if I treat her differently. Should I continue the charade of pretending that she was born female? What if I tread upon a topic that inadvertently steps on her feelings? There was this one time when we talked about anal sex, and she seemed awfully quiet.
How should I react when, in her own due time,she decides to reveal to me her origins? How do I react? Should I ask questions? Should I pretend indifference? I will accept her all the same, but the method of my acceptance could be something that could make or break our friendship. She is a lovely person, and I don't want to say the wrong thing.
Only time can tell, right?
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