The Strangest Job Offer in the World

One of the worst stereotypes about being an Asian is that people think I am a prostitute. Well, the worst part is that even my fellow Asians would think that I would like to be one.

The word "Thai massage" does not have any sexual connotations where I come from. Since massages have a rich tradition in Asia, almost everybody gets a massage once or twice a month, at least in my family.

Here in Germany, however, especially in the small cities, the words "Thai massage" automatically have a sleazy meaning. Big places like Hamburg are fine. Thomas and I went to this tiny place when we visited Hamburg and it was the best massage that I got since I arrived in in Europe.

I have had no such luck here. I am always on the look-out for a good massage parlor/practitioner in Thüringen. The German masseuses I have tried don't really have a feeling to how much pressure they should exert on a person. They have a uniform pressure for everyone that always equates to OUCH! until I tell them to go easy on me.

About two months ago, I saw a place here in that advertised Thai Massage on it's door. I rang the bell and an Asian woman in her negligee, with eyes blacked with a deep purple eyeshadow opened the door for me. In German, I asked her for her rates. She pointed to the wall--

30 min: 50 €
1 Stunde: 100 €

With those rates, they were obviously offering more than massages, so I thanked them politely, and walked away.

Last Wednesday, near the Ausländerbehörde, I saw an apartment with a very conspicuous sign, "Thai Massage" It had bright yellow arrows pointing to the door, and a reflexology chart on the window. It may be legit, I told myself, so I rang the door.

A woman very similar to the lady I met two months earlier opened the door to me. When she saw me, she asked me in a very excited voice, both in Thai and in German, if I was her kababayan. No, I said, I'm Filipino. An older lady appeared, just as heavily made up and as scantily dressed. I told them I wanted a massage. How much are your rates?

She pointed to a wall:

30 min: 30 €
1 Stunde: 60 €

Though they were more reasonable, an hour-long massage in Hamburg cost me 40 €. With those prices, I don't think they do just massages.

Then the first woman asked me if I wanted to work for them! I explained to them that I already work as an English teacher. The younger woman didn't quite understand what I said, but the older woman, whose German seemed to be better, slightly rebuked the younger lady. I wish I understood what she said.

Then the door rang, and the older woman ushered me into a room, apparently their living quarters. She gave me their card and showed me their Gutschein. You want one? I said no. Outside, I heard a man's voice, and the younger woman's shrill, broken German.

The older lady was really nice. I think they're legit, but I'm not sure. I'll probably go in and try them one of these days.

The Random Facts About Myself List

Was tagged by Heidelbergerin.

Let's turn this into a Letterman Top 7 list!

7 Reasons Why Cathy is the Weirdo that she is!

7. She talks to herself when she's alone or really, really pissed off.

6. She likes being an English teacher.

5. She should get off her ass already and pursue her dream of being a travel journalist.

4. She blew her entire life savings to fund her plane ticket and her first month in Germany.

3. Used to work for a high-ranking politician back in the motherland, and left it behind for a blonde.

2. Is liberal, but didn't start taking the pill until the age of 27, because the Catholic Church said that it is poison, and didn't want to risk poisoning her body.

1. She's a trilingual Asian living in East Germany. 'Nuff said.

to Dr. Mitsuru,
Adam, and
Eurotrippen,

here are the rules.
1. Link to your tagger and post these rules.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself: some random, some weird.
3. Tag 3 people at the end of your post and list their names (linking to them).
4. Let them know they've been tagged by leaving a comment at their blogs.

Ich kann nur träumen!

I am currently trying to piece together an article on Jose Rizal, hopefully for web publication. It never ceases to amaze me how amazing the man was. I am a big admirer of polyglots, like Jose Rizal and Vladimir Nabokov. Rizal could speak 12 languages fluently, write in 5 proficiently, and had knowledge in 20 in total. To think that I consider having learned the intricacies of German a feat! I would still like to insert Spanish and maybe Japanese.

Heto ang kopya ng mga sulatin ni Jose Rizal kay Ferdinand Blumentritt. Isinulat niya ito sa Aleman, at humingi siya ng paumanhin kay Blumentritt sa kanyang "bastos na Aleman." (kitchen German, as he put it.) Galing sa ufrey.geocities.com



Mahirap basahin ang Aleman ni Rizal dahil nuong panahon na iyon, iba ang pagkakasulat ng Aleman. Mayroon silang sariling titik, parang Cyrillic. Mahirap, pero posibleng basahin ang Aleman nuon kung ito ay inilathala sa isang libro o sa diyaryo. Pero kapag sulat-kamay na, patay kang bata ka. I tried reading a handwritten text once from the 1930s, the English notebook of a German schoolboy, and it was really in vain. It looked like a bunch of squiggles!

And here is another letter from Rizal to Blumentritt, in English! God, his English is almost flawless! And to think that English at that time was not yet the lingua franca that it is today!



Und hier ist die Fortsetzung von dem Brief. Einen Teil davon ist auf Französisch. Apol, please read this letter and rate his French. How good is it?



Ich muss mehr daran arbeiten, bis mein Deutsch perfekt ist!