The Strangest Job Offer in the World

One of the worst stereotypes about being an Asian is that people think I am a prostitute. Well, the worst part is that even my fellow Asians would think that I would like to be one.

The word "Thai massage" does not have any sexual connotations where I come from. Since massages have a rich tradition in Asia, almost everybody gets a massage once or twice a month, at least in my family.

Here in Germany, however, especially in the small cities, the words "Thai massage" automatically have a sleazy meaning. Big places like Hamburg are fine. Thomas and I went to this tiny place when we visited Hamburg and it was the best massage that I got since I arrived in in Europe.

I have had no such luck here. I am always on the look-out for a good massage parlor/practitioner in Thüringen. The German masseuses I have tried don't really have a feeling to how much pressure they should exert on a person. They have a uniform pressure for everyone that always equates to OUCH! until I tell them to go easy on me.

About two months ago, I saw a place here in that advertised Thai Massage on it's door. I rang the bell and an Asian woman in her negligee, with eyes blacked with a deep purple eyeshadow opened the door for me. In German, I asked her for her rates. She pointed to the wall--

30 min: 50 €
1 Stunde: 100 €

With those rates, they were obviously offering more than massages, so I thanked them politely, and walked away.

Last Wednesday, near the Ausländerbehörde, I saw an apartment with a very conspicuous sign, "Thai Massage" It had bright yellow arrows pointing to the door, and a reflexology chart on the window. It may be legit, I told myself, so I rang the door.

A woman very similar to the lady I met two months earlier opened the door to me. When she saw me, she asked me in a very excited voice, both in Thai and in German, if I was her kababayan. No, I said, I'm Filipino. An older lady appeared, just as heavily made up and as scantily dressed. I told them I wanted a massage. How much are your rates?

She pointed to a wall:

30 min: 30 €
1 Stunde: 60 €

Though they were more reasonable, an hour-long massage in Hamburg cost me 40 €. With those prices, I don't think they do just massages.

Then the first woman asked me if I wanted to work for them! I explained to them that I already work as an English teacher. The younger woman didn't quite understand what I said, but the older woman, whose German seemed to be better, slightly rebuked the younger lady. I wish I understood what she said.

Then the door rang, and the older woman ushered me into a room, apparently their living quarters. She gave me their card and showed me their Gutschein. You want one? I said no. Outside, I heard a man's voice, and the younger woman's shrill, broken German.

The older lady was really nice. I think they're legit, but I'm not sure. I'll probably go in and try them one of these days.