Gimme Freedom. Gimme Shelter.

One of the things that I like about my relationship with Thomas is that he gives me a lot of personal freedom to pursue my interests, something that I have always believed in and something that I reciprocate wholeheartedly. A lot of people, Germans and Asians alike, could not understand how I could spend three months here in Spain on my own volition, to pursue a dream, without having my husband constantly at my side. Or why am I willing to work and support our family in times that Thomas, who is also a freelancer, takes time off from his job to focus on his ideas (I am not kidding. As a kid Thomas's ambition was to be an "inventor").

As individuals, one of the most binding aspects of our relationship is that we both crave freedom. The freedom to be ourselves, and our dread of the stifling obligations that people expect from their partners when they are in a relationship. Actually, one of our biggest communication problems is that neither knows, or knows how to express in a way the other would understand, the personal boundaries that they have and wish that their partner would respect.

Not to say that we don't want a safe haven. Of course we want that the other person will remain a stable rock for the other.

It has come to a point where I am considering babies. Yes, babies. I see babies everywhere. I find them adorable. For many people, children cement a relationship. For some they are the catalyst for its unraveling. I think that our relationship can handle children. Thomas said that being the typical GDR kid, he is not averse to having children at such a young age. The catch is that it was only recently, he said, has he sensed my willingness to have children. He is right.

I look forward to having a bratty baby, then a bratty teenager, in the hopes and in my smugness that I will do a better job than my mom. Being a typical woman, I have imagined conversations with my future child and how I would raise him/her, give him/her "the talk" and how to handle issues.

I asked myself am I willing to raise this child as a single mother, if it comes to that. The answer is yes.

On the other hand, I also fear the loss of freedom. The loss of freedom to pursue my own interests because I have a child. It is true that it is easier to raise children in East Germany, for that I am thankful. Day care and Kindergartens till 4 p.m. is a blessing for parents. In the Philippines, I grew up with yayas or live-in nannys, so my mother definitely had enough time to be herself when she needed to be. One of my greatest fears that I might bite off more than I could chew and find out that I have too late. If I move to West Germany or any other country, how am I gonna deal with lack of child care? What about my plan to live in Japan for a year to learn Japanese? What's gonna become of that? I know I sound selfish but ultimately, wanting children is a selfish endeavor, and I think that wanted children are mostly better off than unplanned ones.

Anyway I know that children will restrict me in a lot of ways, it is up to me to still exercise my identity. I hope I I don't end up resenting my child for "lost opportunities" or stuff like that. Maybe I need to redefine the meaning of freedom. Basta.

So Today Is Your Birthday

Thanks for everybody who greeted me during my birthday! How did I celebrate it? Well, I just had the most kick-ass party to be ever had for my birthday! I cooked Philippine rice noodles and spring rolls, and served super yummy chocolate cake from the baker next door.

I have to say, it was one of the coolest parties I've attended. It was fun, it was chill, it was organic. The best part is that it was my party and I organized it myself! Well, to be honest, it organized itself. A happy flood of coincidences made my party special. My brother-in-law and a friend of his are here on vacation. Thomas came to visit, and Thomas's best friend was also here for a month-long internship at the local hospital! WOOT! How cool is that to not be alone in a foreign country during your birthday, with people you know? Then I invited a couple of people I have gotten to know here in Barcelona, and what happened next was soo amazing. There were at least five different languages spoken at the party, and no, English was not THE language that dominated. The German delegation were so relaxed that when my roomate's dog started humping Adi's (my BIL's friend) leg, we all laughed so hard! Even Adi! I guess we got a bit too noisy because our neighbors showed their displeasure, Barcelona-style.

They dropped a water balloon made out of a supermarket plastic bag on our patio. Priceless.

After that, Thomas and I spent two cloudy but relaxing days at Lloret de Mar, chilling and clubbing with all the unhip Russian kids and English chavs and their unhip music. After that we spent a brilliant Sunday afternoon in Casteldefells.

It was a great birthday, but Woof, I'll be 30 next year! I'm thinking that next year will be the last birthday where I will reveal my real age to people who don't know me!

Homeland vs. Motherland: Celebrities

I was walking along Gran Via de Catalanes when I stopped and did a double take: Cherie Gil, is dat chu?



Her name is Gemma Mengual and she's a famous synchronized swimmer born in Barcelona. She's famous, as in kaliwa't kanan ang endorsements, akala mo si Kris Aquino. She competed in the last Olympics.

Here's Cherie



A Filipina actress of Spanish-German descent, she is very famous for her to the hilt contravida (villainess) roles.

VERDICT: "You are nothing but a second rate, trying hard copycat!" Sorry hindi ko feel and teefs ni Gemma.

Homeland vs. Motherland: Ensai(y)mada

Since the Philippines used to be a Spanish colony, we have a lot of things in common with the Spanish. Words, traditions,culture have transferred, mutated, and have become uniquely Filipino.

While here, I'll be running a series called Homeland vs. Motherland. Basically, comparing things that exist in both countries, and judging which is better. I hope rabid nationalists won't object to me naming Spain as Motherland, but in a lot of cases it is true, and we do owe some aspects of our culture to the colonial period, indelible and undeniable. Other suggestions are welcome!

Ok first up is ensaymada.



The Spanish ensaimada is a creature similar to the Filipino ensaymada, except that it is fluffier, more like a croissant. It is either glazed or covered in powedered sugar.



(From Tagaytay econoinn website. Fair use po!)

Like what Carlos Celdran says in his tour, the Filipinos tend to overdecorate and overdo everything. Ensaymadas in the Philippines not only have a layer of granulated sugar over it, even the most bakya versions have a thick layer of Star Margarine over it (for non-Pinoys, it is the most artificial tasting yellow lard that passes for margarine in the Philippines). In the fancier versions, grated cheese and even itlog na maalat (month-old eggs pickled in salt) feature on the ensaymada. The fluffier versions (like Mulach Ensaymadas) are similar to the ones in Spain, but they are much softer, and less flaky than the Spanish Ensaimada.

VERDICT: Pinoy Ensaymada FTW! Mas nakakabusog!

The Towering Castells of Catalunya

A lot of things move me to tears. Lately, the realization of a dream made my eyeballs moisten.

You see, as a young girl growing up and dreaming of adventure, I had always wanted to watch the Castellers of Spain do their thing, live. I saw it once on the Discovery Channel one day, and thought, wow, I would like to be part of that.

I am so happy to be able to witness the Castellers, live! And I am so grateful to have an old Catalunyan by my side actually explain the whys and hows of the Castellers, who are just so amazing. A devoted fan of the practice, he even gave me a hand-out of the different formations and explanations in English and German, and we spoke in a mish-mash of Spanish and English.

I wish you were here with me to see this



Molts Merces, Catalunya! Featured are the Minyons de Terrassa.