The Thrill of the Chase

As a single woman, I was a shameless flirt. In some circles, I was known as a slut. I have no shame in saying that, and in fact, I kind of reveled in my ill-repute.

Do you guys know how I met Thomas? It wasn't that he sized me up. I sized him up. I spied him from across the room, and made sure that he asked for my number by the end of the day. It's so easy to play, especially when the two people involved are adults who know how to play the game.

I have been so far faithful to my husband. I have no plans in cheating on him. If I wanted to, I could've done so in Spain. To be honest, I was repulsed by the machismo in Spain, in how they made it so obvious that that wanted me, and not because they found me pretty. Remember that Friends episode where Joey and Chandler got free cable porn? I think that free access to pornography has spoiled the id in those men, and thought that every elevator encounter would end up in bed. And another thing, I am very discriminating when it comes to taste and looks. If I don't find you hot, your chances with me are zero. Barcelona is an anomaly in the Mediterranean: The girls are unbelievably hot, the men are ugly. I swear, the ratio of hot girls to guys is 4:1.

Sometimes, the predator in me misses the chase. Thomas and I have no fast rules when it comes to flirting, and it never really occurred to me to do it. I haven't found anybody worthwhile to flirt with...yet. However, I have this weird craving for attention, to flirt with someone, to make myself pretty and make somebody fall in love with me and crush their hearts with my heel. I don't want to deny it, since that will make it worse. I want to channel it to something else. I need to chase after something. I don't know what.

Name That Statue!

Where is this statue? What is its relation to Jose Rizal? Answers until December 31. First to post the answers in the comments section wins a treat from Breslau, Poland, my next destination!

EDIT: What? No answers?

Get Me Out Of Here

Every day of being here reminds me how much I miss Barcelona. How much I miss living in a big city. See that photo? That was me last Halloween. I dressed like that a couple of times in Barcelona, at a '30s-themed bar. The owners, who were also dressed in '30s get-ups themselves, loved my look that they even gave me free drinks. People loved my victory rolls (a kind of 1940s hairdo), told me I was the swellest-looking babe in the joint. And these were from strangers, people who were dressed normally.

I dressed like that today at our company Christmas party. It's the only time of the year I get to dress up in bland, gray Germany, because people here normally don't do make-up. That suits me fine, but I need one day of the year to look fancy, you know? And people here just had to rain on my parade. A colleague told me that my red, shiny lipstick made me look like a clown. I didn't think much of it and let it slide with a witty comeback. Later, some of us from the party went to a club, and a random guy who I don't know from Adam told me that I wore too much lipstick and to tone it down. WTF?! It's part of the look! I mean, you are entitled to your opinion, and I'm sorry that I don't conform to your standard of beauty, but you're not the kind of guy I would be interested in anyway, so scat outta here! I just ignored him.

You know, living in Barcelona made me realize how negative I've become. Germans in Spain were taken aback at the vitriol I had against Germany. All of them were Wessies, so they told me to move out, head west, or head to Berlin. Get to know the "real" Germany. "The non-racist part," they said. Go somewhere more liberal. I would love to move to Berlin, but Thomas hates it--it's too big for him, too spread out. And teachers don't earn so much there, so scratch that. I tried to convince Thomas to live in Barcelona, but he refused because it lacked forests. And you know how important that is for Germans. So with a heavy heart, I resigned myself to the fact that living in Barcelona was not in the cards for me.

So I said, I'll give Erfurt a chance. I'll try to remain upbeat and positive, create an energy around me to make new friends. I am not the only person who thinks finding friends here in Erfurt is difficult. Several people have told me so as well. But I will try to let the beauty of the city shine, and forget about the rude people who make life here a living hell.

Thomas finally agrees that maybe, just maybe, Erfurt has been too hard on me. He finally agrees that people here are narrow-minded, and it is possible that life here has been a sad experience. So there is a possiblity that we might be moving to another place. However, reading other expat experiences in the area, I am not so sure that it would be any better than Erfurt. If anything, it could be worse.

Gosh. I pray that I will be able to remain positive and upbeat. Please, for my sanity's sake. I don't think I can tough it out here anymore. If wearing shiny red lipstick is a crime, may lightning strike me down!