Trip part 1-Pagsanjan

Thom decided that he needed a breather, away from the city. "I want to go someplace green," he said. So off we went to Laguna, armed with nothing but a guidebook, our wits, and P 7,500 in cash. I wanted to see if I was hardy enough for that sort of thing, since I wanted to go into travel writing, after all.

Backpacking fun.
-------
I decided that I wanted to go to Caliraya, Laguna. But since the prices of lodgings there were out of our reach, we decided to go to the city next to it: Pagsanjan, Laguna. We set out at 2:14 p.m. from Buendia.

After a 3 hour bus ride, we arrived at the boundary to Pagsanjan, in Sta Cruz, Laguna. Immediately, locals offering us boat rides and lodgings swarmed us like flies. I knew why we were subjected to this harassment: Because Thom was white, and I was Pinay, and thought that we had money (more about this in a later entry). I was already at the point of losing my temper, and began snapping at the people. Thom, being an experienced backpacker said that this was normal, since tourism is their main source of livelihood. I should keep calm, since remaining irritated would do nothing. I decided to heed him and let him go through all the trouble haggling.
------

We set our sights at the Pagsanjan Garden Resort, which the guidebook said had "pretty gardens, a swimming pool, and was right by the lake." Accomodations for a room with a fan started at P 400. We considered this reasonable, and took a tricycle to get there.

We arrived at 5:30 p.m., more than ready to eat and rest after our journey. The gardens lived up to the guidebook. However, We were informed that we could not use the pool, since it was located by the guesthouse, which rents out for P 8,000 a month, and since the guesthouse was occupied, we could not use the pool.

Strike 1.

We looked at the accomodations. The room was depressing. It smelled of stale sex, and was furnished with one single bed, another double-deck bunk bed, and the walls were covered with fake wood panels. The air-conditioned rooms, which cost P 1,200 a night, were of the same depressing quality, with the air-conditioning. We both wanted out but since it was too late to look for another place, we decided that we could withstand the stinky room and spent the night there. We had no private bath, and had to use the public dormitory restroom. Thom argued with the management to give us discounted rates since their rooms were substandard, but management won.

We ate dinner at their restaurant. their prices definitely did not deserve the quality of their service and the food. I noticed that the employees were talking snidely about us behind our backs. I told Thom that it would pay for him to be nicer or to be less argumentative. "I just smile sweetly, bat my eyelashes, and they give me what I want, with something extra."

"No chance of that sweetie. I'm white. They'll never give us anything at the right price."

to be continued



NikkiAlfar
Tobie Abad>
Gabby Lee
Andre Mischa Cleofe

Coming in Pieces

I have been super-busy with all my jobs that sometimes, I can barely make heads or tails of my day. I have to go to my dorm to dress, then go over to Thom's place to live and sleep, wake up at 5 to go to work, then after that cover news for my second job. Thom complains that I work too much. Yes, the demands of a 14-hour workday is not easy.

Not that I'm complaining. I've asked God for this, I got what I wanted. Great jobs, great boyfriend, great food, great sex, and a great apartment. So I guess I can't really complain about the stresses of my less-than perfect work week.

Last Friday night, Thom and I were wakened by a 9 pm phone call. It was a request to work on Saturday to cover an 8 am Department of Trade and Industry meeting to make a press release for Mrs. Boss' daughter, an Undersecretary.

"That is not fair because they should pay you more. It is a weekend..."
And here he goes...the "Germany speech"
"...In Germany, employees can refuse work on a weekend."

But sweetie, we're not in Germany. And my employers, most certainly, are never fair.
------

We had a hectic Saturday ahead of us. We had a massage lesson at our apartment from 8 am to 12 pm from a licensed masseur I found to teach us how to give proper massages (his idea). I signed us up for a photography workshop in the Filipinas Heritage Library in Makati from 2 pm to 6 pm (my idea). This means that all our plans were shot to hell.

So I told Mrs. Boss' secretary that the photo workshop was at 10 am, and will try to make it there during the workshop lunch break. I hoped they would never catch my little white fib. I justified to myself that it was warranted, since they wanted me to work on Saturday on such short notice!

To ensure my presence, they had my mom call me at 8 am the next day to compel my attendance. I told her the same thing. Then I turned my phone off.
------

Mr. Masseur came on time. He was a great teacher, and Thom was a fast learner. Ha! Great massages from here on end for me! .

------

4 hours of massage lessons and an hour of crazy sex and a ___number of orgasms later, I found myself at the DTI meeting with my mind completely blank.

A slow panic was beginning to rise in my brain. I could't think. I knew I should feel alarmed, but strangely, I couldn't get myself to feel alarmed. Quick, quick I had to think, I had to think up of smart questions, I had to think up of

Ms. Undersecretary slowly walked toward me.

Could you come back at 6 pm, she asked? Come back when the meeting is over so you can conduct your interview properly.

Whew.
-----

I came back at 6:30 p.m., complete with my voluntary functions, and stayed until 8:30 pm. Poor Thom had it worse than me. He completely forgot his ATM card's PIN number, and now has to write to his bank in Germany and wait for a month for them to replace his PIN!

Playing House

There are certain advantages to living with your lover.

For one, I wake up next to a blond adonis every day.

I wake up to breakfast.

I live in an P 18,000 studio located at the 24th floor of a condominum four buildings away from my office, smack dab in the middle of Salcedo Village. I make P18,000 a month.

Sex on demand (his or hers, doesn't matter. The rougher and kinkier, the better)

Security, even if it may be false.

And certain disadvantages as well.

I have to contend with the unfamiliar mess

Unfamiliar food

Unfamiliar habits.

Someone who doesn't belive in my religion.

He sleeps with a blanket hog.

And no farting around each other!

I am so tempted to give up my place. The economic advantages are enormous. What's the point of paying the extra P 3,000 rent? However, I am aware that we might not be forever. Promises may fall short, Shit could happen. I need the other flat for my security.

And there are the social implications of living together. Yes, I do care about what other people think of me, especially my mother and my aunt. I have always been the goody-goody, and they were constantly in the dark about my extra-curriculars. They would be mortified out of their Catholic skulls if they discover that we have moved in together. Threats of eternal damnation, constant warnings that he's merely using me for sex. It's not unwarranted, but I'd rather not hear it right now.

I just don't want to hear "I told you so." Not from them.

So I should probably keep my place, just for show.

Another potential problem for me if this doesn't work out is if future *Filipino* dates discover that I had lived with a former boyfriend, I would be a dating pariah. I would constantly run into moralistic or insecure prudes who would turn me down because of it. Oh well, I probably won't be interested in dating those kinds of guys anyway.

Maybe I just need to grow up.



NikkiAlfar
Tobie Abad
Gabby Lee
Andre Mischa Cleofe

Kababawan

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.

Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage something you've always wanted... though you haven't really thought about it.

In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Sharing Pays

If I'm ever gonna get more freelance work, I really have to overcome my repulsion of talking about money.

I don't have a problem taking care of my money, but I have a problem talking about it. I feel slightly vulgar in speaking about it, because I feel that people will think I'm money-hungry (?) when I pride myself as someone who doesn't judge people on how much money they have.

Whenever I'm confronted with a situation where people ask me to quote how much money I charge, I cringe and give a mumbling response like, "it depends on your budget," or "well what do you think is fair?"

Last Saturday night, I took Thomas to one of my sideline jobs: doing voice-overs for audio-visual presentations, video games, and cartoons. Thomas was so impressed by my work and said that I'm worth much more than the P 700 pesos they paid me for an hour's worth of work, since the script consisted of five pages of dialogue, and pointed out that the boss was willing to give me P 1000. He said that he knew a guy in Germany, who was an actor in the German translation of Finding Nemo. He never charged less than 150 euros for an hour's work. He warned me that I might end up as the smartest guy in a team being milked by a slightly less-smart but more business-savvy boss for all I'm worth.

He's not the only one who has told me that I keep on undercharging my services. Maybe this boils down to not knowing how much I'm worth, how much I should demand for my services.

I try to be assertive in knowing the freelance rate for my writing or voice-over work but it seems that people never want to share their rates, especially for a noob like me. For this particular episode, I asked one of my voice-over friends (she is a regular voice actress in ABS-CBN) how much I should charge for this particular job. She replied by asking how much dialogue was involved, and who was in-charge of the studio I was dubbing for this time. I gave her my answer, and she never answered back! That just struck me as weird, because we were not in competition! Duh, they hired me already, no use in trying to find this person and usurp the job from me!

I understand that there are some career secrets that deserve secrecy, but this, in my eyes, is definitely not one of those times.

In my experience, it always pays to share what you have and what you know.The mark of true talent is when a person is able to be generous enough to share what they have, because they know there is more where it came from! Selfish people are merely digging a hole for themselves because people will eventually learn that you have no talent and people never want to work with you.

For example, My friend Leslie is now working on a job I passed on because I felt that the job reinforced Filipino colonial mentality (yes, yes, how Über-righteous of me), but since Leslie had no problem with it, she took the job, and is now very happy with her work. How did it pay for me? Well, let's just say that I get invited to very fun parties because of her! (Remember Joey? ;D)

As for Ms. Dubber, I guess its fair to say that I'll won't work with her ever, and will never recommend her to other people from now on, unless circumstance throws us seperately in the same voice job. Lesson for her: Never cut off an opportunity! Lesson for me: I need to learn the monetary value of what I do.



NikkiAlfar
Tobie Abad
Gabby Lee
Andre Mischa Cleofe

It!

Damn, I hate memes. But here goes...

7 THINGS THAT SCARE ME
1. The sight of blood
2. The sight of medical procedures
3. Being alone in a dark, spooky place
4. Natural catastrophies
5. Losing my loved ones
6. Being branded as stupid
7. Facing the consequences of 'not being good enough'

7 THINGS I LIKE MOST (in no particular order)

1. Books
2. My bed
3. My TV set
4. My journal
5. My friends
6. Kissing
7. Sex
8. good food

7 IMPORTANT THINGS IN MY ROOM

1. BED
2. TV SET
3. Clothes
4. Shoes
5. My documents
6. My jewelry
7. My books

7 RANDOM FACTS

1. I can be a bitch when I want to.
2. I choose to not be a bitch.
3. I'm actually a friendly person
4. I am not easily distracted when I'm doing something I like
5. I like sex, and I'm not ashamed to admit it
6. Only my parents and family can ever get me to sway my opinion. Oh, except for Thom
7. I hate HATE failure

7 THINGS TO DO BEFORE I DIE

1. Travel the world and consume 30 passports in the process
2. Become a travel journalist
3. Become a respectable journalist, artist, and photographer
4. Live in New York, London, and Tokyo
5. To estalish a reutation of being up for anything
6. To be remembered for my 'vibe,' to be a great spirit
7. To find the love of my life.
8. To learn at least 1 romance language

7 THINGS I CAN DO

1. Cosplay
2. Take semi-decent photos, and write decent articles.
3. I can be a great lay
4. Appear unflustered under pressure
5. Make amazing mashed potatoes, gravy, cookies and 'pinoy carbonara'
6. Be the most doggedly determined person on the planet
7. Trust someone completely.

7 THINGS I CAN'T DO

1. Do something I abhor
2. Like someody I don't like
3. Fake a freindship
4. Force myself to like somebody
5. Kill a person
6. Compromise my principles
7. Believe in myself completely

7 CELEB CRUSHES

Angelina Jolie
Jude Law
Justin Theroux (tama ba?)
ay madami masyado...

TAG YOU!

More than Like

Thomas and I have been officially together for a week now, and we are probably in our "Honyemoon stage" when I find everything he does adorable.

I am officially a convert to dating western men. I am glad that I decided to give the white guy a go. It's so refreshing to be in a relationship where everything is clear-cut and safe. No second-guessing, no gray areas. I know what to expect. I know what I'll get. Filipino men may be maalaga but western guys give it to you straight-up and honest. That is something I definitely like.

I practically live in his flat. He makes me breakfast. An amazing lover and a good cook. What more can a girl ask for?

He digs that I'm smart and that I give great massages.

He tells me he'd be crazy to let me go. I would be crazy if I let him go.

We are so deliriously happy that we are getting paranoid. We're waiting for us to fight, we're waiting for the other shoe to drop. We're so worried that everything moved so fast. But we also believe that since everything happened so organically and so naturally, could there have been any other way?

We're just thinking of today. I do agree in principle that it is best to live for today, but to actually practice it?

He's the wisest guy ever! I kept on stressing out about the future, and he told me a story about the time he and his best friend trekked across the Alps for 21 days, from Germany to Italy. He said that their co-trekkers who stocked up food for 2 months failed to complete the trek; they on the other hand brought only enough for two weeks and bought food from little pitstop villages along the way. It takes a lot for a man to shut up any of my arguments, and he did that very calmly. I'm waiting for the time when his unbelievably logical nature annoys me.

He is so uncompromising in his principles I am bowled over. We went grocery shopping, and he actually refused the plastic bag and placed everything in his big-ass mountaineering backpack. I watched with slight embarassment, amusement, and admiration as he placed an entire salami, jug of water, a stick of butter and assorted cold cuts into his bag. I know that it is common practice in Europe, but if I were in his shoes, I'd do as the Romans!

He stuck to his guns when the owner of his P 18,000 unit refused to pay for the cleaning of his sink's grease trap, which was already clogged when he got there. I would've just shrugged it off as something not worth stressing over, and forked over the P 100. But he does have a point.

Today, he gave me the keys to his flat. He is so unafraid of commitment! He's okay with the fact that my aunt doesn't like him! He's okay with my crappy house and my crappy dorm room! That my parents are worried about my future.

He is so helping me become an adult, and is slowly teaching me to not be bonded to my parents' opinions of my life, and actually shrug off my aunt's attempts to control my life.

He likes that I'm creative and do things my way.

We're not yet at the stage where we are comfortable with saying I love you, but his feelings for me are crystal-clear. He woke up last Sunday morning with a headache. I asked him if it could be because of the beer he drank last night, which he described as "shit." In his limited English, he answered "I think I'm scared. I definitely like you more than like."

Uncut!

(Editor's note: The subject matter is for adults or adult-minded people only. This is a clinical essay on a sexual subject. Salacious comments are NOT WELCOME. Thank you.)

Most Filipino men are circumcised by age 13, so I do not really have friends who have ever expereinced what it is like to be with "The Uncut." Unless you're dating a Muslim, a Filipino, most Americans or a Jew, chances are your man has not undergone "the knife."

There is still a debate among men and parents everywhere on whether to cut or not to cut. I do not have any personal preference, but this is one thing I am sure of: I was shocked when I first saw an uncirumcised penis. Sure, sure: it was what God gave them, au naturele. But I was so unused to the sight that I actually stared at it for almost a full minute, quite unsure on how to use it. It's like handling a Mac after being a life-long PC user: It sure has the same functions, but the layout was weird!

Honestly, there is really no difference with having sex with a man who has not had the surgery with a man who has. However, the handling of the uncircumcised is very different. DO SO WITH CAUTION!

Remember the episode in Sex and the City when Charlotte first experienced sex with an uncircumcised man? Well, it does not look like a Shar-pei (I guess it was that man's quirk) but the willie sure looked like it had its own carrying purse! So instead of the shroom-man, expect to see something in the shape of a missile.

Think of it as a Tootsie Roll: You have to unwrap it to get to the goodies inside. After you get over the sight, demand that your man wash his equipment before use. NO IFS OR BUTS! Even if you have to drag him to the restroom kicking and screaming! Unless you like the taste of smegma. Yum!

Gently unroll the head. Sometimes, it naturally rolls off when it becomes erect, so when that's over with, remember that unlike a circumcised penis YOU CANNOT DO JUST AS YOU PLEASE JUST YET! I usually ask a man to teach me how he likes his desserts, but with an uncircumcised guy, you have to be v-e-r-y gentle. His head down there has not been exposed to the elements, and is therefore more sensitive than average. A stray tooth would send him into a world of pain.

After that it's pretty much the same. So I guess it is at this time you can relax and enjoy the ride. Foreskin is a bit flimsy, so overdoing it could rip the head open and this can cause infection. So if you're doing it bare, don't try too hard.

And no, it does not look bigger.



NikkiAlfar
Tobie Abad
Gabby Lee
Andre Mischa Cleofe

Ost-West

I don't really go out with white men. I think they're big, lumbering, and hairy, much like Bigfoot. I don't like hairy men. They scare me. In my limited experience in dating Caucasians, I just don't really feel the vibe, since I am under the impression that they are very condescending toward our culture and people.

So I wasn't really expecting much last Saturday when I had dinner with Thomas, the German. He is 20, an intern for the Konrad Adenauer Foundation. We met during the State of the Nation Address ceremonies.

I was pleasantly surprised when we found out that we had a lot in common. He loves the beach and traveling. He just came from an exchange-student program in Bali, Indonesia (wise, that boy), and showed me his pictures during his stay there. He grew himself a full, shaggy mountain man beard (eww!), and had a laugh over his experiences.

We had dinner at a restaurant in Greenbelt, where we exchanged stories and information about our cultures. It wasn't really that I was attracted to him, more like we felt very at ease with each other.

Throughout the dinner, he talked about his life as a POOR GERMAN STUDENT (think Hideki from Chobits). So when time came to pick up the tab, I voluntarily picked up my wallet to foot my share of the bill. Normally, I wouldn't do this since Filipino women are taught that you should never pick up the tab during dates. However, I wanted to be sensitive to European customs, since he has only been in the Philippines for a week. How would he know about Filipino customs?

He said that he wanted to go somewhere quiet, so we went to my favorite hang-out place in Quezon City, Seventy-7 bar. We talked for a bit more, and he did the whole finger-tracing-palm routine (apparently, this very corny and awkwardly romantic practice trancends culture and races among college boys). It was just then when my phone rang. It was my sister, asking what I was wearing and how the date was going. Of couse, we were speaking in Filipino. I told her that I was in the Mango jumpsuit she picked out for me, and, somewhat sheepishly, admitted that we went dutch during the date. This provoked an outraged "Ano ba yan!" from my sister. I explained to her that this was European custom, and I just wanted to make the dude feel comfortable.

A few minutes after the call, the phone rings. Oh my, my sister told my overprotective aunt, who lives in Las Vegas, about my date! Just then I wanted to kill my pregnant sister. Okay, the big guns are calling. I needed to be calm and get this over quickly.

This is a translated approximation of our conversation.

"Is it true you went dutch?"
"Well, yes. I just wanted to be polite and follow their customs."
"He's in the Philippines!" she exclaimed. "He should be following our customs!"
"But how would he know about our customs? He's barely been here for a week?"
"Well, educate him."
"Tita, he's a poor German student. Like, he receives money from his parents. He doesn't work yet. I just didn't want to impose."
"And why, of all places, would you go to some secluded place in Quezon City? Why go so far?"
"This is not a secluded place! It's right along E Rodriguez! It is not a strange far-away place! Besides, this is my favorite restaurant. I celebrated my 22nd birthday here!"
"Fine. Is he with you."
"He's right beside me."
"All right, we'll talk later."

I had a bad feeling about this.

To Thomas' credit, he did admit that he felt embarassed because while I worked for my money, he still relied from dole-outs from his parents and the German government. Ahh, welfare.

-----

The very next day, my aunt unleashed the furies.

"Why would you allow yourself to go on a date and go dutch! Do you know what that shows? It shows that he doesn't respect you! He has no idea what you're worth!"
"Nooo it does not! I was just following customs! I just didn't want to impose."
"He's the one in the Philippines, he should adjust to our customs."
"Tita, just because we went dutch doesn't mean that he doesn't respect me; I've gone out with Filipino men who paid for everything who turned out to be complete assholes."
"If he really was a decent person, you wouldn't have gone as far as Quezon City!"
In a withering tone, I replied, "Tita! I tell you right now: you won't find any decent men in the world."
"I don't think so. I don't think so."
Exasperated, I snap back, "besides, he's white. We don't really know how he thinks! If he pays for everything, he might expect things from me!"
"No, that's not true. What about Steve? I don't think he expected things from you."

Steve was her former boss, a Bill Clinton look-alike twice my age who treated me to P 11,000 dinners and gave me my Canon EOS SLR camera in a bid to curry my favor. My family was seriously pushing me to marry him, but I said no because it was gross and I felt that he was not trustworthy. I was vindicated a few years later.

"Really Tita? Really? Do you really think Steve expected nothing from me?"

"Oh well, really, next time, if you know the dude has no money, just take him to a cheap place"
"Look, the only reason I took him there because it was quiet. He wanted quiet. You don't find quiet in Makati."
"There has to be other quiet and cheap places in Makati."
"Tita, believe me, all the cheap and quiet places in Makati are beer halls. Otherwise, the quiet places in Makati hawk P 150 beers. That's the cheapest beverage on the list. And you know I don't drink alcohol."

This battle was completely pointless and ended in a draw.

I found comfort with my friends and my mother, who totally saw my point. My mother even gave me a piece of advice. "That's why I never dated Americans when I was single. Once, an American guy courting me brought a box of chocolates to our house. I thought they were for me, but it turned out that it was for him."



Nikki Alfar
Tobie Abad
Gabby Lee
Andre Mischa Cleofe