What Integration Means to Me

Before I left the Philippines, Thomas said that he would not want me to live in a place with too many Filipinos. Jena, located in the former East Germany, has a lot of Vietnamese merchants and Chinese academics, but only three Filipinos. There's me, Inez, of Filipino parentage but was born and raised in Australia, and a rumored 40-something married to a German (she's like the Yeti. Her whereabouts are still unknown).

So Jena was ideal for this purpose. But why shouldn't I mix with others of my ilk?

"Well, if we want to be the globe-trotting couple of our dreams, you would have to learn how to mix with people from another culture."

Admittedly, he is right. I want to travel the world and write about it, but I don't have the perspective of someone who has seen other cultures, of someone who wants to understand what it means. I was limited to insular Manila, where everybody knew everybody.

I believe there are two kinds of travelers in this world. Someone who travels, sees the world, but interpret it according to their own perspective. Most travelers are like this. There are those of us who want to experience the world and take it for what it is, and try to adapt to what the world is like in foreign lands. I'd like to believe that I am of the latter.

I am beginning to understand what Thomas means. If I surround myself only with other Filipinos, I might as well not have left Manila.

I have read many interesting articles on the very fast assimilation rate of Filipinos in other lands. Check out these articles from Jessica Zafra, The LA Times, Howie Severino, and Torn and Frayed.

I think deep inside, even Thomas was surprised at how quickly I 'Germanized' myself to fit in. I ate their food. I found myself a job, and crammed in as much German as I could in my brain in eight months. Even Barbara is astounded at the speed I have learned German and found a job, while her sons are still trying to find their places in the sun. I am not any better than them. I am just more flexible, that's all. Germans, if anything, are renowned for their rigidness and inflexibility. Inez didn't even bat an eyelash when I said that I received my first German lesson on February 28, 2006. "You are Filipino, after all."

Why is it that Filipinos are able to assimilate so quickly?

#1 Adaptability

Kapag maikli ang kumot, matutong mamaluktot. "If the blanket is too short, learn how to bend." This Filipino saying translates to: When the going gets tough, learn how to adapt. Despite what I write about Barb in this blog, we have an amazing relationship. Thomas, for one, breathed a sigh of relief, dahil marunong akong makisama(I can get along with other people).You won't find any mother and daughter in law conflicts here. Despite her being the inflexible German that she is (and I tell you guys, you won't find somebody more inflexible than her), she and I have a better relationship than her and Thomas! I think the key here is that I recognize that this is her house. And that I have patience.

#2 The Filipino network

I think that the root of Philippine resilience is that the Philippines has no reliable Social Security System in place. Filipinos depend on their families for help. Filipinos abroad have their "extended family," other Filipinos. For instance, Inez referred me to Berlitz. This sense of stability gives Fresh Off the Boat Filipinos the freedom to be flexible.

If there are no Filipinos in sight, We turn to God.

Barbara doesn't understand why I am so keen to send money back to the Philippines once I am financially stable enough here in Germany. She even said that my mother was not a good mother because she expects me to send money back to Manila.

I explained that we have very strong family ties in the Philippines, unlike in other cultures. My mom and I bicker at the amount of money I should send back, but we never argue about why I should send money. German family ties are close, but they would never parallel how close they are in the Philippines.

# 3 Our desire to make a good impression

She also doesn't understand why I like to cook Filipino food for complete strangers and how could I be so polite to other people, even when they are bordering on being abusive.

I replied that I am aware that I am one of the very few Filipinos these people will encounter. One false move, and people will automatically assume that all Filipinos are liars, or are unreliable, or what have you. I am aware that I am an ambassador of my nation, and I believe that we, as Filipinos, should make sure that we put forward a good image, even if the people back home make it hard for us.

I believe that most of the Filipinos who could do good for our nation has left the Philippines. In my opinion, most of those who remain are a) part of the ruling oligarchy or b) those who are so poor or so brainwashed that they could do nothing but follow. People back home can't blame us for it. There are people who really need a more positive environment to grow professionally or spiritually.

# 4 Our willingness to assimilate

The good thing is, despite our show of solidarity, Filipinos abroad don't have the "clannish" mentality of the Turkish here in Germany. The argument here in Germany is that the German government has made it impossible for immigrants to assimilate into the local culture because of restrictive laws. They can live and work here, but could never be German citizens. Strangely enough, the problem seems to be limited to this social group. I don't hear complaints of 'non-assimilation' against the Filipino and the Chinese communities here in Germany. Yet, we also have the same 'non-rights' the Turkish have.

From the LA Times:

The Filipino American community is famous for putting its cultural identity behind assimilation. Though they're the second-largest Asian group in California behind the Chinese, they have never established set "Filipino" neighborhoods — the equivalent of Monterey Park for Chinese Americans or Little Saigon for Vietnamese Americans.

I disagree. If anything, Filipinos abroad, like my aunt in Las Vegas, are more proud to be Filipino than Filipinos are in the Philippines. They have none of the inferiority complexes many Filipinos back at home have developed. I went on a date with a date with a Fil-Am last year, who expressed his disappointment at how "Flip Pride" had disappointed him upon coming back. Seeing how the Philippines is at this time, I have to agree. Really, we have to rid ourselves of this sense of small-mindedness, this "Magsasaka lang po ako" mindset. Here in Germany, I do everything I can to show how rich and varied Filipino culture and history is. I don't lie to them. I don't deny that the Philippines has enormous social and political problems. But the key is, we have to show everybody that there is more than meets the eye when they think of the Philippines.

Filipinos back at home will follow rules as long as they see that the system works. But the system doesn't work. Yet we remain silent. When there is no need to question anything, Filipinos won't say anything. That is the reason why Filipinos are so law-abiding in other lands. What makes our country a mess is also what makes us obidient citizens in other countries. Hopefully, I hope that order doesn't come in the package of another dictatorship. There are a few people that I know who believe that a dictatorship would be the best thing that could happen to our country.

Mut

Manchmal wunderte ich mich. Bin ich mutig, oder nur ein Vollidiot?

Ich war in Mainz letzte Woche, und ein Kumpel von mir, Martin, schüttelte seinen Kopf. Wir haben über mein blog entry "Why I Turned the Other Cheek" gesprochen. Wie kommt es, dass ich so objektiv sein kann über das was Thomas getan hat? Warum bin ich sehr ruhig, in der Art und Weise wie ich die Geschichte erzählt habe?

Ich muss sagen: Ich verstehe Thomas. Ich bin fünf Jahre älter. Ich weiß das Warum, warum hat er das getan hat, und warum es passiert ist. Ich kann nichts dagegen machen, weil ich die Folge von einer Revanche weiß. Wie Scheiße, weil ich reif bin! Thomas ist nicht so stark wie ich und ich weiß, dass er mir niemals verzeihen könnte.

Ich war böse auf sie, das Mädchen, in den ersten paar Wochen. Aber nach und nach habe ich mir gedacht, dass sie keine Schlampe ist. Wenn sie eine Schlampe wäre, was soll ich sein? Ich bin nicht eine Heilige. Wahrscheinlich habe ich schlechtere Sachen in ihrem Alter getan.

Thomas hat mir gesagt, dass er und das Mädchen miteinander gesprochen haben und sie hat fast geweint weil sie keinen Mann finden kann und alle nur ihren Körper wollen.

Wie dumm von ihr! Hallo natürlich wenn sie macht was sie gemacht hat muss man das erwarten!

"Vielleicht könntest du ihr helfen, sie braucht jemand wie eine ältere Schwester.“

Ach, eine Schwester! Ich sehe es jetzt! Naja, aber es ist klar, sie ist ein verlorenes Lamm. Wie ein normales Mädchen in ihrem Alter, wie ich damals.

* * *

Ich bin in Deggendorf, und ich habe das Mädchen getroffen. Extrem, oder? Ich konnte es nicht vermeiden. Sie ist eine Kommilitonin von Thomas. Sie ist im Unterricht, auf jeder Party. In der Mensa. Überall.

Sie sieht wie eine low-rent Scarlett Johansson aus. Ihre brünetten Haare haben blonde Strähnen. Ihr Gesicht ist breiter als Scarletts. Ihr Körper ist auch breiter als meiner. Um Gottes willen! Wir müssen unsere Situation wie Erwachsene behandeln. Das ist mir klar. Also, kein Raufen, kein Gewalt.

Ich war auf einer Party gestern Abend, und natürlich, sie war auch da. Thomas wollte uns vorstellen. Wir müssen Erwachsenen sein, richtig?

Sie ist vor uns vorbei gelaufen. Sie weiß, dass ich es weiß. Ich weiß, dass sie es weiß. Und der Elefant ist größer geworden.

„Monique, das ist meine Freundin, Cathy“

„Hallo!“ sagte sie. Ich habe auch ein „Hallo, I’m Cathy“ ausgesprochen. Der Mut für „Hi“ zu sagen, das Sang-Froid für ihre feuchtkalten Hände zu nehmen. Ich habe es irgendwo in mir gefunden. War ihre Hand kalt wegen dem Wetter oder wegen der Situation? Ich werde niemals herausfinden.

Und der Moment ist vorbei.

Bin ich mutig, oder einfach verrückt?

Irgendwie, meine Laune hat sich verschlechtert. Es war wie, ein Auge ist auf Thomas, und das andere war auf sie. Thomas war sehr nett zu mir in dieser Zeit. In diesem Lärm, Thomas hat in mein Ohr geflüstert, „Sie braucht dein „Hilfe“ und deinen Rat, weil du viel erfahrener bist. Vielleicht kannst du mit ihr sprechen?“

Nein, das geht nicht. Du kannst so eine Situation nicht erzwingen.

I Want a Bit of Sunshine, Please!

The weather here in Germany is bleak enough to drive the cheeriest optimist insane.
It is so cold here that I scan the weather reports daily (So German) and look at the outdoor thermometer to plan my outfit. The days are so short that it's dark by 4 p.m. I once looked at the temperature outside. The thermometer said 8 degrees Centigrade.
"My, it's quite warm now, isn't it?"

I never thought I'd utter those words in single digit weather. I miss the tropics! Give me a tropical Christmas!

* * *

I was in Mainz last week for the first part of my training as an English teacher. I will be in Mainz again later, and in Deggendorf from Wednesday till Sunday. So I'm gonna be away for a week. Basically, this is my last respite before I start working and studying at the same time. I just can not remain still, can I? I studied and worked my way through university, held two jobs last year, and now this. I am so excited to be running around two cities in zero degree weather!

I am a bit worried that my German will suffer because my brain will not be able to focus on just learning one language.


Martin and I in his office in Mainz

And a shout-out to Martin. Thanks for hosting me!
* * *

I have made a list (a list!) of what I miss in the Philippines. So if there's anybody here in Germany who can do this, or give this to me, I'd be eternally grateful.

1 Walis Tambo

People, you have no idea how frustrating it is to work with German brooms. Look
here. It explains why.

2 Pansit Malabon

Out of all the Pancits I can make, this one I have no clue.

3 The Filipino People

I would love to live with people who don't complain or ask me why I would have the desire to change my shirt everyday, or my jeans weekly. People who think that hamog is bad, not good for you.

4 Cosplay

Here, I have to resort to filz-making (its German name) to satisfy my creative urges. Not bad, but it ain't cosplay.

5 My family

My nieces and nephew are growing up without me. :(

The Sun is here! Yehey!

"Get Out of My Elite, Uncaring Face"

I'm sure that my readers in the Philippines have heard about the infamous "airport incident" involving Luli Arroyo and her Mr. Padlan. People think that the First Daughter was standing up for Juan dela Cruz, and are applauding her vigorously for it.

But somehow, I feel that people are still missing the point: this constant lack of insecurity and grandstanding that we Filipinos have has again manifested its ugly head. I talked about it here. This sense of insecurity prompts out nation's leaders to blabber on in million peso-meetings, which prompts these inept boards to think "Hey, let's boost our town's pride by making the World's Longest Longganisa!", instead of "Hey, we need more industry. Let's try to raise more money by being proud of our culture and focusing on our strengths and products, without selling our soul to the devil or destroying the environment."

This small-mindedness, this insecurity, this need to feel better about ourselves by putting other people down , dooms our fragile nation. Nick Joaquin had complained about how our nation lacks ambition. I feel that we are shooting ourselves in the foot for small mercies, like having other people look up to us.

Mr. Padlan destroyed his life out of sheer bad luck? I don't think so. His HABITS doomed him. However, would he have ever been caught if he recognized the First Daughter? Kung nabuhay siya ng marangal, kung hindi siya nagpapa-bigshot, hindi siya malalagay sa alanganin.

If he lived a modest life, if he didn't feel the need to boss other people around, he ould not have been in trouble.
From the Inquirer website:

"On the flip side, the source said immigration officers have noticed that some passengers have started to appear haughty since after the story broke about Padlan's run-in with Evangeline Lourdes "Luli" Arroyo that stemmed from his reportedly rude treatment of President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo’s only daughter.

"Ang tatapang na raw ng mga pasahero (The passengers have reportedly grown bolder)," the source said in Filipino"

Appear haughty? You know these guys were merely so unused to meting courtesy.

From another Inquirer story:

"Ferdinand Sampol, the head supervisor of the Bureau of Immigration at the NAIA said the incident had prompted the BI to “study our training program once and for all.(emphasis mine)”

Talaga? Buti naman at naisipan nila.

Another issue has been rocking Singapore as well. Please read it here.

Okay here's the gist: Some thirty-something yuppie blogs about the indifference of the government to the plight of the middle-class, and of Singaporean society in general. He has the usual complaints: Job insecurity, how expensive it is to raise a child. The usual middle-class schtick. Then some bratty girl, member of an elite, intellectual program in one of Singapore's most prestigious universities, and the daughter of a Member of Parliament, slams back in her blog. Her closer is a classic: "Get Out of My Elite, Uncaring Face". Causes a sensation. Dad apologises for daughter's behaviour with a non-apology. Girl closes down blog.

This same kind of arrogance is what happens when we allow people to step on us, to feel that they are superior to us. You would think that this mentality would've grown out in the middle ages. Could it be human nature at work here? If it is, would we ever outgrow this insecurity?

I have to agree with some of Ms. Wee's views. I've seen it happen here in East Germany. Unreasonable job security during the Communist era has proved to be detrimental to the competitiveness of the ordinary East German worker. But the unreasonable nastiness of how it was said doomed her. In the end, her HABITS doomed her. If she did not blog about what she felt, subsequently exposing her superiority complex, would she have been caught?

Insecurity can do a lot of things. It provides interesting drama in a nation like Singapore. But in the Philippines, our national inferiority complex has worse complications.

Jena ist Eigentlich Cool

In a way, I am glad that I live in East Germany, namely Jena. The place has a cool, artsy vibe, without the artistic and intellectual pretentions its Manila version has.



People here are also very race-tolerant. If I was ever hassled here in Jena for my race, they were by people NOT from Jena. The large student population, and consequently large foreign student contingent, helps.

I think the reason that Jenaers are warmer and friendlier that the people in other German cities I've visited is because of it's small size (100,000 inhabitants), and their Socialist background. They actually have a name for people who don't want to mix with other people--"Asi" or asocial. If people call you asi here, that means you're unfriendly. If you don't want to hang out with your friends because of a lame excuse, then you're asi. People here think there is something really wrong with you if you want to be alone too much. It sounds very Brave New World-ish, I know, but it does remind me a lot of Filipinos. The down side is, that also means that people also like to poke their nose into your business, but it isn't as bad as it is in the Philippines.



In a way, Jena is a very different, but also a familiar environment for me. I mean, sure, it ain't as swinging as Manila, but it has its own charm as well.

I'm taking a page from The Satorialist and posting pictures of people who I thought looked cool. It was a Thursday afternoon at the City Center.



The great thing about living here is that people can wear whatever they want not because they want to look cool, or because they are in desperate need for attention. They really do it for art and self-expression.

Oh, and the in thing for chicks here nowadays are huge-ass tatoos, nipple rings, and piercings on the lower lip or on the upper lip, the piercing resembling a beauty mark mole ala-Lorna Tolentino or Marilyn Monroe (depends on who your point of reference is, I guess).