What Integration Means to Me

Before I left the Philippines, Thomas said that he would not want me to live in a place with too many Filipinos. Jena, located in the former East Germany, has a lot of Vietnamese merchants and Chinese academics, but only three Filipinos. There's me, Inez, of Filipino parentage but was born and raised in Australia, and a rumored 40-something married to a German (she's like the Yeti. Her whereabouts are still unknown).

So Jena was ideal for this purpose. But why shouldn't I mix with others of my ilk?

"Well, if we want to be the globe-trotting couple of our dreams, you would have to learn how to mix with people from another culture."

Admittedly, he is right. I want to travel the world and write about it, but I don't have the perspective of someone who has seen other cultures, of someone who wants to understand what it means. I was limited to insular Manila, where everybody knew everybody.

I believe there are two kinds of travelers in this world. Someone who travels, sees the world, but interpret it according to their own perspective. Most travelers are like this. There are those of us who want to experience the world and take it for what it is, and try to adapt to what the world is like in foreign lands. I'd like to believe that I am of the latter.

I am beginning to understand what Thomas means. If I surround myself only with other Filipinos, I might as well not have left Manila.

I have read many interesting articles on the very fast assimilation rate of Filipinos in other lands. Check out these articles from Jessica Zafra, The LA Times, Howie Severino, and Torn and Frayed.

I think deep inside, even Thomas was surprised at how quickly I 'Germanized' myself to fit in. I ate their food. I found myself a job, and crammed in as much German as I could in my brain in eight months. Even Barbara is astounded at the speed I have learned German and found a job, while her sons are still trying to find their places in the sun. I am not any better than them. I am just more flexible, that's all. Germans, if anything, are renowned for their rigidness and inflexibility. Inez didn't even bat an eyelash when I said that I received my first German lesson on February 28, 2006. "You are Filipino, after all."

Why is it that Filipinos are able to assimilate so quickly?

#1 Adaptability

Kapag maikli ang kumot, matutong mamaluktot. "If the blanket is too short, learn how to bend." This Filipino saying translates to: When the going gets tough, learn how to adapt. Despite what I write about Barb in this blog, we have an amazing relationship. Thomas, for one, breathed a sigh of relief, dahil marunong akong makisama(I can get along with other people).You won't find any mother and daughter in law conflicts here. Despite her being the inflexible German that she is (and I tell you guys, you won't find somebody more inflexible than her), she and I have a better relationship than her and Thomas! I think the key here is that I recognize that this is her house. And that I have patience.

#2 The Filipino network

I think that the root of Philippine resilience is that the Philippines has no reliable Social Security System in place. Filipinos depend on their families for help. Filipinos abroad have their "extended family," other Filipinos. For instance, Inez referred me to Berlitz. This sense of stability gives Fresh Off the Boat Filipinos the freedom to be flexible.

If there are no Filipinos in sight, We turn to God.

Barbara doesn't understand why I am so keen to send money back to the Philippines once I am financially stable enough here in Germany. She even said that my mother was not a good mother because she expects me to send money back to Manila.

I explained that we have very strong family ties in the Philippines, unlike in other cultures. My mom and I bicker at the amount of money I should send back, but we never argue about why I should send money. German family ties are close, but they would never parallel how close they are in the Philippines.

# 3 Our desire to make a good impression

She also doesn't understand why I like to cook Filipino food for complete strangers and how could I be so polite to other people, even when they are bordering on being abusive.

I replied that I am aware that I am one of the very few Filipinos these people will encounter. One false move, and people will automatically assume that all Filipinos are liars, or are unreliable, or what have you. I am aware that I am an ambassador of my nation, and I believe that we, as Filipinos, should make sure that we put forward a good image, even if the people back home make it hard for us.

I believe that most of the Filipinos who could do good for our nation has left the Philippines. In my opinion, most of those who remain are a) part of the ruling oligarchy or b) those who are so poor or so brainwashed that they could do nothing but follow. People back home can't blame us for it. There are people who really need a more positive environment to grow professionally or spiritually.

# 4 Our willingness to assimilate

The good thing is, despite our show of solidarity, Filipinos abroad don't have the "clannish" mentality of the Turkish here in Germany. The argument here in Germany is that the German government has made it impossible for immigrants to assimilate into the local culture because of restrictive laws. They can live and work here, but could never be German citizens. Strangely enough, the problem seems to be limited to this social group. I don't hear complaints of 'non-assimilation' against the Filipino and the Chinese communities here in Germany. Yet, we also have the same 'non-rights' the Turkish have.

From the LA Times:

The Filipino American community is famous for putting its cultural identity behind assimilation. Though they're the second-largest Asian group in California behind the Chinese, they have never established set "Filipino" neighborhoods — the equivalent of Monterey Park for Chinese Americans or Little Saigon for Vietnamese Americans.

I disagree. If anything, Filipinos abroad, like my aunt in Las Vegas, are more proud to be Filipino than Filipinos are in the Philippines. They have none of the inferiority complexes many Filipinos back at home have developed. I went on a date with a date with a Fil-Am last year, who expressed his disappointment at how "Flip Pride" had disappointed him upon coming back. Seeing how the Philippines is at this time, I have to agree. Really, we have to rid ourselves of this sense of small-mindedness, this "Magsasaka lang po ako" mindset. Here in Germany, I do everything I can to show how rich and varied Filipino culture and history is. I don't lie to them. I don't deny that the Philippines has enormous social and political problems. But the key is, we have to show everybody that there is more than meets the eye when they think of the Philippines.

Filipinos back at home will follow rules as long as they see that the system works. But the system doesn't work. Yet we remain silent. When there is no need to question anything, Filipinos won't say anything. That is the reason why Filipinos are so law-abiding in other lands. What makes our country a mess is also what makes us obidient citizens in other countries. Hopefully, I hope that order doesn't come in the package of another dictatorship. There are a few people that I know who believe that a dictatorship would be the best thing that could happen to our country.