We Don't Need No Religion

Before my grandma passed away, my aunt sent me a package containing my SLR camera, Filipino noodles, and old issues of Kerygma, a very popular Filipino Christian/Catholic magazine.

The presence of these magazines in the package raised my eyebrows mile-high. I am in my second year of "living in sin" with Thomas, and I have absolutely no regrets. Despite my Catholic schoolgirl upbringing, I have abandoned my inhibitions about sex and my Catholic schoolgirl masturbation guilt. I know that my family will never see it the way that I do, that living a morally upright and spiritual life CAN be mutually exclusive from religion. I had the distinct feeling that the magazines in that package were a secret jab at my life decision of moving to Germany and living with somebody who is not only NOT Catholic, but doesn't have a religion.

People may think that it's a bit hypocritical of me to still be a regular churchgoer and live my lifestyle. I actually don't see it that way.

There was a time in my late teens and early 20s when I tried my darndest to fit myself into the Catholic mold. I worked for a Catholic magazine and a Catholic news organization. But try as I might, I never fit in. I just didn't believe in everything that the Catholic Church said, and still says. I once had a very enlightening discussion with an old co-worker about religion. People may leave because of misbehaving priests and other church scandals, but my ex-officemate said it the best:

"People who lose faith because of priests have a very shallow faith in the first place. You don't go to Church because of the institution, the institution is human and therefore weak. You go to church because you believe. If you believe in God, why would you base your faith on other people's actions within the Church?"

That hit a nerve. And you know what? Despite the Catholic Church and all its failings, I believe in God. I like going to church. I like the peace it gives me. I am aware that the priests are human. They make mistakes, some unforgivable. But why should I let the institution tarnish what I believe in? I grew up with the Catholic model of a God, so what is the point of changing?

Two months ago, I got into a discussion in Jena with a Brit who grew up in Switzerland. I generally avoid talking about religion, but this guy was fascinated by it and talked of nothing but. I told him of my belief that if Thomas's mom had some form of religion, she would be in a better state emotionally after her separation with her husband. Three years after and she is still as broken up about it as if it were yesterday.

He said that his father found religion after his divorce. With a fascinated tone, he revealed that although his father was not deeply religious, he became an active Anglican after his separation and his emotional healing was apparently very fast.

I offered my two cents. "It's the feeling of being needed, I think. It's the knowing, through these organizations, that there are worse problems than your own." He agreed.

Thomas may not be religious, but he respects my Catholic faith and goes to Church with me. He doesn't have a religion, but he does believe in a God. I will probably raise my children in the Catholic faith, but I won't pressure them to be Catholic. They may choose to be Buddhist or Muslim or Agnostic, I don't care. As long as they are good people with good hearts, that is all that matters. After all, being religious doesn't automatically mean that you are a good person.

I am convinced that although I have not taken the straight and narrow path, I am still innately a good and moral person. And Nobody is going to convince me otherwise.
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