When I first set off from Manila on June 13, 2006, I wasn't thinking, here is the beginning of the rest of my life. Here, I would start my new life. Sure, I sold off all my appliances and stuff, but it was mostly to finance my German lessons, and the adventure of it all had me in a thrall.
Four years and one kid later, I look at my son and realize with sadness that he will not grow up Filipino. Strange but true. I never thought I would end up thinking this, but somehow, knowing that he will probably not appreciate the art of eating dried fried squid dipped in vinegar, makes me sad.
I think that my husband realizes this too just now. That Antonio will not be German-German. He will be somewhere in between. He realizes now that there are some things that will always remain alien between us, and my realization that our son will have to negotiate this murky path towards identity alone, saddens me. It is difficult enough to find youself with both parents sharing a nationality. Who knows, maybe in the end he will embrace this in between two worlds identity of his.
I wish I had thought about the fucked up German school system. While it is good (if you use PISA rankings as a yardstick), I feel so sad to think about the enourmous pressure it puts children under. I mean, sure, I knew I wanted to be a writer when I was 12, but I feel it is cruel to pose that question to 6th graders. Not everyone knows what they want to be at that age. And to peg someone as a failure if they don't make Gymnasium? That is harsh. I want my child to have a childhood, like I had.
I wish that I could give my son the gift of three months of doing nothing. Summer vacation here is only eight weeks long, and falls on September--dab smack during the rainy season in the Philippines. How can he enjoy going back home when all he has rain, while knowing it is summer back in Germany? He will never know the pleasure of a chilly, rainy, tropical bed weather, so welcome after a scorching summer.
The best I can do is to show him, "son, this is what it means to be Filipino." I can give him my nationality (at least until he is 18) I can show him what it means to be Filipino (which not a lot of my countrymen have the luxury to think about). Then I can hope.
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I think a lot of the talk about how bad the German system is for kids and parents is overdone. Maybe we're advantaged in that her mother is a teacher, but we've managed to navigate our kid through school pretty well so far.
As for them being under pressure too much, the fact is that kids need a challenge and are capable of a lot more at every age level than we give them credit for. The homework my daughter brings home always astounds me, because it's often stuff that I wasn't taught until I was two, sometimes three grades further along. That's especially true in her French class.
I also think they do a very good job getting them to think about what they want to do when they grow up, and require practica in real jobs from Grade 9 on. In Canada, at least in my school, the subject of what to do in life was rarely discussed, and it took me ages to figure things out on my own. Kids need direction, and will take it if it's given the right way.
You know, I actually agree with you. I think that children need to be directed and oriented to think what they will do after school, since just like you, I had trouble connecting what I learned with what the outside world was really about.
But then sometimes,I see kids who don't tick like that. It makes me sad that they have to compete when they don't even want to, and they can't opt out. If they do go to Haupt or Realschule, they're considered losers. when actually, we need more skilled labor than ever before. I think that the German school system, being state and not federally-regulated, makes it hard for kids who are recommended for the Hauptschule in Bayern but are considered good enough for Gymnasium everywhere else.
I completely agree with you about the German school system. However, here in RPL the decision is made when they are 9. Also, kids get 8 weeks of summer vacation there? They only get 6 here.
Regarding nationality, you might want to email Mausi about that (even though she is Canadian). If I recall correctly, her sons can keep dual nationality forever.
Please make more posts about what it means to you to be Filipino. I've found what you mentioned in this post very interesting and would love to learn more about what it means to you.
Keeping dual nationality forever depends on the nationality of the partner. Binational parents, with one parent coming from an EU State, Switzerland, Canada and the US get to keep dual citizenship forever. Filipinos and people from Turkey don't.
Dear Arashi-Klshu,
I found your details on your blog, I hope you might be able to help me with my strange request!
I am a Producer working on a television show called House Hunters International which follows English speaking expats in their quest to purchase a house abroad. I am hoping to find English speaking expats to profile who are living in Germany. I wonder if you or any of your expat contacts might be interested in getting involved?! I would love to find out more about your story! Please find a little blurb about the show below:
House Hunters International is a half-hour program currently airing on the Home and Garden Television Network (HGTV) in America.
The series is designed to de-mystify the international home-buying process by going behind the scenes of a house hunt where buyers and their real estate agents tour 3 homes.
At its core, House Hunters International is a travel show concentrating on the idiosyncrasies of the locales and what makes them special and different.
Please get in touch if you have any more questions about the show. I look forward to hearing from you!
Best wishes and many thanks,
Michelle
Michelle James
ASSOCIATE PRODUCER LEOPARD FILMS
1-3 St Peter's Street, London N1 8JD - +44 20 7704 3300
michelle.james@leopardfilms.com
www.leopardfilms.com
I know what you mean. I sometimes regret that I can't offer my kids more time in Canada or a better school system, but that's just the way things are and you learn to deal with it.
About the question of dual citizenship - I checked a few German-Philippine message boards and there seems to be a lot of confusion and misinformation from both the German and Philippine authorities about this. Assuming that you were a citizen of the Philippines and married to Antonio's father at the time of A's birth, the final opinion was that according to the Abstammungsprinzip a child born in Germany to one German and one foreign parent of any nationality automatically gets dual citizenship for life as long as the birth is registered with both countries, and that a child can apply for a Philippine passport until he/she is 21 years old. The Optionsmodell, the one where one citizenship must be given up between the ages of 18 - 23 only applies to a child born to two foreign parents in Germany. That's what a lot of Turkish families are facing since the parents never became German citizens but had their children here. They get German/Turkish citizenship at birth and then have to decide on one or the other. A child born to one German and one Turkish parent would not have to decide.
If I'm completely off track and there really is some reason why this wouldn't work for you I'd love to see a link to the information because it's the first time I've heard it.
Here's one very long thread on German-Philippine citizenship:
Deutsch-Philippinische Staatsbürgerschaft
Thank you so much for the link! I called the Innenministerium and they confirmed that my son doesn't have to choose! I'm so happy!
That's great news! It just wouldn't have been fair if it hadn't been the case. I know how they can screw people around sometimes with unclear information and the rules have changed over the years. So here's to your little dual-citizen for life!
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