Why do I love them parties?
1) I get to doll myself up and wear all my pretty cocktail dresses
2) I get to eat 5-star restaurant food for free
3) Who knows? I may land myself a rich husband in these shindigs!
4)It makes me more socially significant than I actually am.
Women usually want fame, money, security. I want power. The power over my own destiny and the power to be able to influence other people on a massive scale. People usually think that ambition for power is a masculine desire. However, I've always considered myself a masculine woman. I don't want to be a politician. Too big a headache, too much trouble than its actually worth. My friend says that I have delusions of grandeur. I protested at first. But upon introspection, he's right.
I am admittedly a social climber. There is no shame in that. Depite tacky associations of trying-hard people trying to finagle their way into high society, I would say that social climbing is only shameful if you don't do anything to work for it. Why should people be ashamed of trying to better themselves, making something out of their lives? Where else do you expect me to go people? If I am to be mobile, I'd rather be upwardly mobile than stagnate or go down. There are only two directions in life. Forward and backward. How would you rather grow? It's part of my quest to be the biggest and best version of myself I could possibly be.
RULE OF THUMB: If you are to social-climb, do it with finesse! Be classy people, and don't push yourself too much into a crowd that doesn't want you. You're better off without them
anyway.
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I have noticed that people usually fall in love with their projection of the person they love rather than the person that they are. I feel that this is a bit too unrealistic. What if the person won't change the way you want? People are too unpredictable, that I know. We can't be contained into statistics and figures. No matter how hard you try to manipulate outcomes, planning can only go so far. Depending on the falliability of the person to determine outcomes is mostly a hit or miss affair. I belong to the school of riding things out and work with what comes out of the situation.
What if the person never matures? Or matures in a way where you are no longer necessary? Needs to grow without your benefit? What if the person never gets that job, changes for the better, stops drinking, stops slapping you around?
My lastest relationships have been with men younger than me. I found out that no matter how hard you try to be patient with them, they will have to grow up by themselves, without you. Without your guidance. I think it's too presumptuous and pompous to think that you can actually influence a person who doesn't seek your help. You can merely be a guide, be there when they need you. I could never push myself into a situation wherein they did not seek my help.
Try to love for who they are, rather than what they can become.
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My office mate told me that I remind her of Milla Jovovich. It must be the lean and scruffy look.
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