After a week of waiting with bated breath, the doctors confirmed it.
My aunt was diagnosed with breast cancer.
I had prepared myself for such a diagnosis, and I prayed and prayed to all the saints in the Baclaran Redemptorist Church, please, please, don't let it be positive. Still, I was more distubed than I actually expected myself to be.
We are a family of strong women. In our family, it really is all about the women. My siblings and I have never really had a strong male influence. As with all my close female relatives, I had a complicated relationship with my aunt (*sigh* how come all my relationships are complicated?) She was my cheerleader. She believed in me when I didn't. At the other side of the coin, she can be a slave driver, she pushed me to places where I'm not sure I wanted to be. Especially when I was younger, I hated the fact that she was able to influence some of my decisions though she's in the US. She's Ms. Quid pro quo. She was my version of a stage mother. Before finding myself, I doubted for a time that my internal voice was actually a personalised mversion of her voice.
I'm not sure why I'm this upset. Why her? There are sick bastards running around the world, killing people, exploiting the environment. They deserve it. They deserve this. Not her. We don't have a history of cancer in our family. She is the first, actually. She has no major vice. Perhaps, some social drinking and smoking in her youth. Okay, she's 51 and menopausal, so her hormones are going awry. but that's it. Maybe this is her constantly sleep-deprived body's way of protest. We have always admired my aunt's ability to stay up in the most dire pa-morningan situations. But this is some vengeance!
I may be a small voice, but to every woman who reads this: Please get a pap smear regularly (I hate it but I do), Please do regular breast-checks (I hate it but I've done so since I had my period). Get tested for sexually-transmitted diseases (haha...I've tried several times to do this but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I'm too afraid to get this one.)
The problem with my life is, it's never boring.
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1 comment:
My aunt went through breast cancer herself and survived. So, cheer up. It's not the end of the world.
Treatment for breast cancer has improved in leaps and bounds over the years. So, it's not as dire as it would have been, say 20 years ago.
You need someone to talk to you know where to find me.
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