The Mess We're In...

One thing that made alarm bells ring in my head was the price on my sister's electric bill. The month wasn't even over, and she got another electric bill. That's two bills in one month. Each for three thousand pesos. Golly. In Germany, my electric bill is 15 euros per quarter. That's half of her bill. And I live in a first world country, where everything is supposedly more expensive.

I asked my sister about her electric bill, and she just shrugged her soldiers. Eight people, one house. Air conditioning. What can you do? she seemed to say.

A trip to the grocery store just showed me how impossible life in Manila is becoming. I had three thousand pesos with me, confident that with 50 euros in my pocket, I could buy a week's worth of groceries for a household of eight. My jaw dropped when I bought 1/4 kilo of potatoes in SM for thirty fucking pesos. Dude, that's fifty euro cents for a tiny plastic bag of potatoes. In Germany, I could get a kilo for that. Rice, 50 pesos per kilo, Sugar too. And to think that we produce sugar!

My sister told me that prices of goods went up after Typhoon Ondoy (you know, that typhoon where the guy was floating on a jetsam of trash), and stayed that way.

I don't know guys. I think we're being screwed over.

Hopefully, Filipinos have reached a saturation point wherein they would say enough and try to actually put our fucking country in order? So I would be confident enough to say, hey, screw Germany, I wanna go back home?

But that is a dream. I think that we're getting there, though. When the rich start complaining about the status quo, you know you're getting somewhere. I think I would drop dead if I get a P 41 thousand peso electric bill. That's 650 euros! For a house!

A lot of people are saying we should go nuclear. Guess what people? Former President Marcos did build a nuclear power plant. Sorry to Cory Aquino fans out there, I have love for the yellow too, but she mothballed the opening of the Bataan Nuclear Power Plant (BPP). I remember that RJ Miranda even did a commercial to push for its opening. But it was the era of Chernobyl, there was no way that the BPP was gonna get opened. I remember the outcry against the opening of the BPP. I don't know if our country would also have been able to maintain the power plant in a condition that would not endanger our country.

Shortsightedness is another reason why former President Ramos entered into deals privatizing the supply of electricity and why we are indebted to private American companies that make a tidy profit of selling electricity to power distribution companies for P 11 per kwh!

Per Yahoo news: http://ph.news.yahoo.com/mb/20100408/tph-meralco-hikes-power-rate-020e1c8.html

Meralco's higher generation charge for this month's billing was mainly due to higher cost of supply procurements from the WESM which reached as high as P11.36 per kWh, and the fuel cost accounting for the condensate shift of its contracted independent power producer First Gas because of the maintenance shutdown of the Malampaya gas facility from February 10 to March 13.

A few months after a mega typhoon that dumped a month's rainfall within six hours, Manila is again suffering from the effects of El Niño. Same as last year, drought, rationed water. Why? Goddamn it open the fucking Wawa Dam already. Why do people think that La Mesa Dam has enough water for the 13 million people living in the Greater Manila Area? And now they want to tap Laguna de Bay? Geez, they allow tilapia farms to pollute the water. I don't know if that is such a great idea.

Reading the news in the PH makes me so sad, it's no wonder that my sister's TV is tuned on 24/7 to Wowowee, and Manny Paquiao makes the front page. I think that it's the Pinoy way of preventing ourselves from putting a pistols against our heads. Geez government, why don't you just kill us already?

Wait a minute, we are the government! I think we just did.

German Vice Chancellor Gay: Nobody Cares

When I asked my husband who he was voting for last Sunday, he automatically said FDP, the yellow party. I guess with the baby coming, he has taken a huge interest in the direction Germany will take regarding family politics. People can say all they want about Thüringen, but I'll doubt you'll find a state that is as family oriented. The state provides excellent and cheap whole day child-care for working parents. The schools are good (if a bit lefty-oriented), Kindergeld, Erziehungsgeld, the works. And companies don't discriminate against working mothers, because they were used to that in the former Eastern Germany. I was supposed to go on maternity leave in the middle of September, but because I am a freelancer, I could extend it until the end of September. It wasn't a big deal.

I have seen the party head, new Vice Chancellor and Foreign Affairs chair Guido Westerwelle on TV. He seems like an ok chap, a bit arrogant, but one needs that in politics.

Imagine my surprise when I found out that he was gay. Not only that, he's been out since 2004. Yet nobody cares, and his party still won and is now out of the opposition and leading with the incumbent party CDU.

I don't care if he's gay, and I am actually happy that his sexuality is not deemed a liability or a hindrance in his ability to lead. I am actually amazed at how Germans and Europeans are so open-minded about these kinds of things, in contrast to Filipinos and in some cases, Americans. In some countries, admitting to homosexuality is political suicide.

I don't want to become a German citizen. I've made that clear. I don't feel German, I don't feel that I "belong" to this country. However, accompanying my husband to the elections, I could not help but feel a pang of envy at seeing how peaceful, fast, and orderly their elections are, in comparison to the circus in the Philippines. I have volunteered in the Philippine elections in the past, and seeing how politics works over here made me almost want to renounce my Filipino citizenship, just so I could participate in the direction my adoptive country is taking. Good job Gérmany!

P*tangina Nakakagigil!

Pasensya na kung napa-mura ako. Filipinos, have you seen this BBC documentary? I am so ANGRY at Lito Atienza. And please, Joseph Estrada is not some sort of martyr! Yes, he was targeted and became a victim of the church. He may not have toed the Church line, but he is just such a hypocrite! What, the allegations of corruption aren't real?! He's an Ateneo boy after all (Ateneo is the Jesuit-run school in the Philippines where the rich send their kids to study), a self-styled man of the masses without actually being one of them!

That's it. You know, I really believed in the Church. I toed the line. But when you see the Lito Atienza say that the leaders have to decide for the people, in a country where leaders exploit the people, you just have to wonder when is it going to end. Looking back at my life working in politics, I am glad of the opportunity Europe has given me, for opening my eyes to reality. That I am no longer part of the problem.

Tomorrow, I am going to renounce Catholicism. I still believe in the Catholic God, but the religion has nothing to do with me or my money.

The Battle Within

This article from the Singapore Strait Times paints a pretty accurate picture of the state of the Philippines and the effects of the Church's influence over my country. As a conflicted Catholic, I understand the reluctance, even opposition, of people to pass a law that is clearly, sorely needed in an impoverished third world nation. To people from the West, what is taking place in the Philippines is ridiculous considering we are in 2008. For Filipinos, this bill is akin to giving women the vote in the United States.

For the Filipino middle class, family planning and contraception is a quiet, personal decision undertaken by many married women. For the poor, it is a question of resources. In a country where many people eat once a day, the cheapest 30 peso pack of pills is out of the question. While the middle class have the luxury to flout the Church's stand on Family Planning, the poor who depend on free social services can't.

If you wonder how can the Catholic Church have such a far-reaching influence over the government, take this social mindset into account. For the majority of Filipinos, the question whether or not you believe in God is moot. The proper question to ask is: What religion do you have? Are you Born Again Christian? Protestant? Catholic? Clearly, religion is a major force in the lives of the people. People vote for whom the Church says.

Since there is no divorce and no abortion, the question of whether or not to end an unwanted pregnancy or an unhappy marriage is also moot. People who can no longer stand each other get an annullment, if they can afford it. For those who can't, informal, unrecognized separation is the answer.

I was born Catholic. I still officially am. But I have always struggled with my faith over the years because of the iniquities inflicted by the Church on people. I have seen the Church do both good and bad. It is not a bad Church, but of course I would be stupid to believe that they don't have an agenda. I believe that if people could only see how economic prosperity has emasculated the Catholic Church in the West, the battle for Contraception in the Philippines would have been over a long time ago. As in many Latin American countries, a church needs poverty and strife to exist.

Intellectually, I believe in the right to family planning. As a Catholic, I feel conflicted, especially because of old prejudices I had growing up. I have seen my evolution as a person over the years, but I cannot erase 15 years of Catholic schooling. I went to a Catholic school and a Catholic university. I had been taught natural family planning methods, that the Philippines is not overpopulated, that it has a "population displacement" problem. That I could get pregnant in a swimming pool if a boy ejaculated in it. That I should remain chaste until marriage.

I would be a hypocrite if I said that I was an ideal Catholic. I am not. I never have been, because I never believed in remaining chaste. However, I would be lying if I said that I was never affected by the things that the nuns taught me in school. I only felt confident enough to use the pill two years ago, after being assured by my German gynecologist that I will not be rendered infertile by it.

My story is reflected by most of the Filipino middle class. Most of us went to private Catholic schools. Most of us were told that we could get pregnant in swimming pools by nuns. And most of us, even though we know that the Catholic Church is spreading bull, are too weak to resist pressure from our families to be good Catholics and sign that little paper on the Church door against the Population Bill.

So for the people who are fighting for that the Family Planning Bill in the Philippines, I believe that lobbying for the bill in Congress is just one part of the war. They also have to convince the middle class that ousted Erap that the Population Bill is in the country's economic best interest. It is an intellectual and spiritual battle, which is unfortunatley a battle fought within.

Wake Up and Smell the Indifference

Before you read this post, I would like you to take time to read this from Howie Severino's blog. Many Americans don't know about the Filipino-American war, how America perfected Vietnam and Iraq in the Philippines.

What really gets me is a commenter on this thread who asked.

"i'm glad to hear that obama won in the elections because it will really bring change. but i wonder kung ano ang impact nito sa ating mga Filipino..."

You know, before I left the Philippines, I had a not so nice impression of Americans. Americans are idolized and treated like kings in the country, much to the consternation of other nationalities. Everytime Thomas walks around the Philippines, he is greeted everywhere by "hey joe!" or "Kano!" which is short for Americano. I had a job interview once where the American interviewer talked down to me, and I had another acquaintance who thought I wanted to sleep with him just because I am Filipina, and all Filipinas wanted to marry a Joe, right?

When you are Filipino living in the Philippines and has a myopic view of the world, meaning that the world you live in revolves around the P.I. (as servicemen call the Philippines) and the USA, you think that wow, we are so important in the world.

Please, I hope that Filipinos wake up to the reality that America doesn't give a fuck about us. They don't care. Americans don't know that Guantanamo, Guam, and the Philippines are all tied to the war of 1896. We are never going to become the 51st State of America. Americans don't even know that we speak English in the Philippines! I, for one, am tired of having to explain my not-quite-so American accent and how I got it. "Wow, your English is so good!" Americans would say.

Give up the ghost, Filipinos. I don't agree with the Socialists in the Philippines, but the term "Tuta ng Kano" (America's Puppy) is a good adjective to describe the Philippine government. Look, my grandad also believed that the Philippines should have been a state. But you know what? They never wanted us to be a state. They just wanted (and want) our gold and copper, without having to cower behind environmental watchdogs. To Canadians, google Marinduque Mining Disaster if you don't know what I am talking about.

And this article just to see how sad and desperate we look, like a lunatic bride chasing after George Clooney. Please President Arroyo, I know you went to Georgetown with Bill Clinton, but we shouldn't have any illusions that America will take care of our problems. Please, let us grow a spine and think of ourselves first. America's President will of course take care of Americans first. We should do the same.

Our history of colonialism has made us unable to self-govern. This is not a rant against Americans. They are at a high point in their history, and I congratulate them for achieving the unimaginable 40 years ago. This is an appeal to the Filipinos to wake up and think for ourselves.

Thank God.

Glad to see the end of idiocy. That was a really vicious and nasty campaign.

Move on, nothing to see here.

Pakistani's Bhutto Killed in Attack

When I read today's Yahoo Newsreport on Benazir Bhutto's death, I knew that it was an inevitable conclusion to a very long and storied life.

When she returned to Pakistan, narrowly escaping death a few hours after arriving, I already had an ominous feeling that she was living on borrowed time. How sad that my intuition was proven correct.

I had interviewed her before, and she struck me as a very strong person, yet she was not arrogant at all. She took time for little old me, a 21 year old cowering in fear of this world-renowed woman, at the corridor of the Manila Hotel.

Will Pakistan do an EDSA? They have their Ninoy. But the problems in Pakistan are a many-headed beast. Musharaf is not the main problem. People there can't help but abet Islamic-fundamentalist terrorists, after glorifying it's existence for 30-odd years.

She loved her country. She was a wonderful woman. I wish her a good journey into the afterlife.