Be You.

"It cost me a lot to be authentic. . . Because a woman is more authentic the more she looks like what she has dreamed for herself."
--Agrado, Todo Sobre Mi Madre

I have a pretty manic personality, and I have really no control over what to fixate upon. I don't know why I like something, and when I do, I just go crazy with it. I think it. I eat it. I breathe it.

Sometimes this mania will last for years. It will die out just as suddenly it started, and no amount of force on my part can make me want to revisit my manias. Sometimes it stays with me. Some manias I have had when I was 16 or 17 are still with me to this day.

I have always had geeky interests. When I was 8 or 9, The Real Ghostbusters (the cartoon) was on air, and I would never miss an episode, ever. I would park myself in front of our TV, and I would write down which ghost appeared on what day on one of my school notebooks. When I was 14, I wrote fan mail and poems to Gillian Anderson and
David Duchovny.

I have always been interested in traveling to other places, even when I was a kid. I just didn't really have the opportunity to visit other countries, but I would say that I knew Manila well by the time I was 10. My Grandma took me with her on her trips whenever she could, and she had itchy feet. I guess I caught her bug, and I wanted to travel the Philippines, too.

But what really made me dream, and dream big, was a TV show on the Discovery Channel called Travelers. I was 16, about the time my parents decided to subscribe cable TV. I watched it whenever I could. The show revolved around six Americans who visited obscure festivals around the world. I loved it so much that I also had a notebook wherein I wrote down the country and city they went to, date of airing, hosts present. This show made me dream that someday, I would go and see the Boi Bumba festival. How do I get there? How can I be a part of it? It was one of the reasons why I went to Journ School in college, because I knew I had a gift for communication, and journalists go places, right?

My parents had other ideas for me. You want to travel? Go be a stewardess.

This short-sightedness frustrated me for so long. When I got my degree, I wanted to embark on my great Philippine adventure. I wanted to travel the width and breadth of my country, but my parents forbade me. Too dangerous, they said. I listened to them, and stayed put. This is not strange in the Philippines, as my 25 year old brother still lives at home and gets "Wer r u?" text messages from my mother at 12 midnight.

I slugged away at my job, got a boyfriend, split up, ended up depressed, and became obsessed with anime, eventually cosplay. It was the only thing that made me smile at the time. I would sit and watch anime an average of 6 hours a day. I was around 22 or 23.

Then I met Thomas.

He gave me the courage to actually use all the money I have saved all these years at the bank and with him, I discovered the Philippines. I had also seen parts of the Philippines with my Grandma, and we embarked on our great adventure together in 2004. But with Thomas, I had the courage to visit unknown places, not just places where we knew people. Basically, he gave me the courage to continue something that my Grandma started.

And now I am here in Barcelona and learning Spanish! I still can't believe it, and I am eternally grateful for having this opportunity, and the opportunity to become my real self: A citizen of the world.

Salon de Manga Barcelona

Just came back from Salon de Manga XIV and those two above just won the Cosplay Skit competition, the guys who will represent Spain in the World Cosplay Championships 2009 in Nagoya, Japan.

I can't help but think, wow, the Philippine cosplay community hasn't even sent any reps to the World Cosplay Championships. We can do so well, so much better than a lot of the acts that I saw. And Japan is so close!

A cosplay insider told me that it was only this year that Japan started accepting applications from countries instead of inviting countries to participate. The Philippines has a very well-developed and flourishing cosplay community, it's about time they recognized the Philippines!

Let's Do The Time Warp Again!

Please please please, can I live here? Like, really? I am having so much fun and indulge in my geeky costuming nature here. *sigh* ayaw ni Thomas but there has got to be a way!

I had the most fun I have had in the last two years I've spent in Europe last night, at the Halloween screening of the Rocky Horror Picture show of the RHPS club. It's the first time in years that I joined a cosplay contest as Dita Von Teese (haha, well, if she were Asian). I loved the atmosphere, so unlike the competitive and insecure cosplay scene in Manila. Last night people talked back to the screen, recited lines, threw rice and confetti, and basically made RHPS an interactive experience! So goofy! It was like watching a movie in your friend's den, just that it filled the whole theatre. Everytime Janet showed up on screen, the crowd chanted ¡Zorra! (Bitch) and Brad ¡Gillipollas! (Asshole). God, I was orgasming geek last night as people came up with witty one liners in Spanish at the screen, the kind that someone came up two years ago and everybody would repeat hereonafter.

The winner of the cosplay contest was a woman with a pet rat and a gun. I think she's Sigourney Weaver in Aliens, but I am not sure. Help?

moi dix mois

Caught this in Chuvaness's website a month ago. With nothing to do I decided to translate it for kicks. From German TV, interview was also done in Germany. Words in parentheses are mine, for clarification. If anybody can explain the words that I don't quite understand, I will be very grateful. Thanks!

Host: "Today we open the door to a mysterious world. We will meet with Mana, the man that never speaks. Small bling (as in bling bling, jewelry) is good for the shop (or business). Mana has more than one. He founded the Gothic Lolita look, mixing metal with classic and j-pop, and connects big shoes with big theater. Mana whispers, his medium answers. Both their appearances suggest that they know Marilyn Manson. What great secret will he whisper to us?"

K: As a teenager I was a fan or Mötley Crüe. They appealed to me when I saw them in a magazine because they had an extreme style. I found Tommy Lee super, that's why I really wanted a drum set, and my parents actually bought me one. That is what Mana said.

Host: Shortly Tommy Lee would Mana neither become a 'heavy metal-er' nor a drummer, but the guitarrist and the head of the cult Japanese band Malice Mizer. Fans love the hard sound, and the doll-like appearance of the musician (Mana).
With his solo projct Moi dix Mois, the control-freak Mana propels (or boosts) artistry, the Gothis Lolita look and elegant poses to the top. Everything has to be perfect. He prefers to make his own clothes.

K: I opened the fashion/clothes shop moi meme moitie 99% by myself, with clothes for Gothic Lolitas, beause there weren't any clothes that combined something sweet with something dark before. That's exactly what I did. Besides, I don't like short-lived trends, and my concept is for people who see things the same way. That is what Mana said.

Host: And the clothes sell well. There are schoolgirl lolitas with kilts (schottenrock. more likely, plaid skirts) and knee-high socks. Sweet lolitas with rouge, and elegant gothic lolitas with victorian-style corsets. All looks combine innocence and darkness. The fingers spread out to form the sign of Satan and a sweet smile on their lips. Through eiland (? island) is Mana's soul-craving for beauty specially fulfilled.

K: I heard a song from French pop singer Mylene Farmer sometime ago, and the sound of the French language fascinated me. Since then I became interested in French culture. That's what Mana said.

Host: Unexpected thirst (? I don't get the last word. Verdürtnis?) is behind the cult. (I think this means that this unexpected thirst powers the cult). This report about this circuit doesn't quite contain dark experiences and black masses. On the contrary, in Japan the Gothic Lolita Bible contains clothes patterns and recipes for cakes with confectioners sugar crosses. Mana and his fans won't allow themselves to be so easily defined. Devil's signs and baking (? what's backodien?), büschen (?) and evil looks. Perhaps the characterization of the perfect gothic lolita fails because even its creator has a hard time defining it.

K: That's the question of my life. (64$ question). That's what Mana said.

Host: That's when Mana crams back into his own universe made of great secrets and small gestures without so much a whisper. Sayonara, Mana-San.