I don't know why I'm attracted to gay men, but I am! Like the Fab 5 guys....delish!
I think it's because they're well-mannered, well-groomed, well-read, and just have so much personality! I'm trying soo hard to cure myself of fag hag-ism.
I think I always have been attracted to men like these. The first "fag" I fell in love with was my first MU (mutual attraction) guy. We were both 16. I guess in high school, gay guys "try" girls just to see if they're really gay. It has been a curse that has hounded me ever since.
I do have a "body type" in mind with the men I fall for. They're usually tall-ish (around 2-3 inches taller than I am), skinny (but not too skinny), bishonen-ish. A bit of a geek, since passion for something is always attractive. Thankfully, nothing has happened between me and my gay MUs. Even my heterosexual boyfriends have been a bit...effeminate.
My family is exasperated with my choice of men. In fact they think I'm a closet lesbian. My mother would frequently sigh, "Kung hindi ka mahilig sa bakla, sa baklain." If anything, my parents aren't afraid that I'll become pregnant out of wedlock; they worry that I'll end up an old maid.
The heterosexual version of my dream guy is My New York Kinda guy.
I've always wanted to do the New York thing. I think I can totally do the New York thing. Live in Gotham City. I could also do Paris. Manila is getting to be too small for this city girl. I have always been a city girl, so maybe that's why I'm itching to move to a bigger pond.
MNYKG is tall, thin (but not too thin), an intellectual. MNYKG is personified by Ethan Hawke (hotness!) and Adrian Brody. He may be of any race, but I want my man WELL-GROOMED! Not that I'm the best-groomed person on the planet, but most men HONESTLY! should learn a thing or two about hygiene.
I've always imagined me and my perfect man sipping coffee (or tea) in a cafe. Or in our home. chatting without speaking. I'll know him when I meet him.
***
My vow never to be jaded with life is paying off. I'm 25 years old and I still believe in love, and I still believe that I'll meet my soulmate.
I may be a romantic in a cynical world. Funny, I always thought that I was a cynical girl living in a cynical age. I've recently discovered that I'm not cynical. Far from it. Friends who are cynical are actually disillusioned idealists or romantics. I still believe that I have a soulmate. I still believe he's out there. And I am waiting for serendipity to bring us together.
In the meantime, I'll sow my wild oats.
8 comments:
Ha ha ha! You just described my best buddy, Myk. He's perfect except for the fact that he's in NY right now but that could be a good thing.
You can go there yourself and I'll set the two of you up together.
You're going to be just his type too. :)
The face of Jai from the Fab 5 is now stuck in my head now... but he doesn't really look that tall, does he? Anyway, I wonder what you're doing to try and "cure" yourself.
On my job... I get paid mostly to design marketing materials and to produce AVPs. You?
Love? Ano 'yun nakakain ba 'yun?
Kidding! Seriously, I'm a bit cynical nowadays, that's why some of my friends branded me as "The Anti-mush"
hehehe!
Adrian Brody...I can understand, but Ethan Hawke?!!! OMG!!!*lolz*Ethan Hawke's hot?Man.....I think Sean Penn looked twice betetr than Etahn Hawke.Ahhh...oh well,what do I know about a guy's hotness level eh?A girl's hotness level....well,that I'm quite confident on judging of ^_^;
I wish I could say that I'm as positive as you and believe in love and the whole soulmate idea....but after so many failed romances and dates,its kinda hard for me to believe so.I have no doubt that I'll meet that special someone.....but I doubt if I could end up with her.Love's a lot like life.....it ain't fair and there are other variables playing a part that'll influence the result at the end.(am I making sense here?)*sigh*Maybe the worst(or best) case I could end up with is knocking up a hot-looking chick(in her moment of weakness....or betetr yet,DRUNK as a horse in a cider factory) and force her to marry me*lolz*.(oh man...i now sound so much like an a-hole*lolz*I better shuddup now :p )
And thanks for the advice on my blog cathy.Idea's sounds good.....but I dunno if I have the guts to do so.I mean like what if she said NO?...or worse did not repoly at all. T_T (I'm such a wuss)
Excuuuuuuuuuuuse me! I've been crushing on Ethan Hawke since i saw him and his hair sexily spilling over his eyes in the movie White Fang. Yes, THAT long ago! ;D heeheehee! It's not really baklain. Just... clean?
umm... i'm not sure, but the hulk doesn't seem to fit the profile of your NYKG. do you really love him? =P
Ey, like I said before, you're a guy stuck in a woman's body, that kinda explains everything, no? ;>
i've met the pinay version of ally mcbeal! :) but without the boring lawyer look. (no offense to lawyers out there)
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