A man's kiss is his signature. ~Mae West
A kiss can be a comma, a question mark or an exclamation point. That's basic spelling that every woman ought to know. ~Mistinguett (Jeanne Bourgeois), Theatre Arts, December 1955
The first time I had a real kiss from a guy I really liked happened when I was 17. At the time, all knowledge I had about kissing was anecdotal. I would use my tongue to try to twist a cherry stem into a knot (a skill I perfected at age 19) and would suck the soft flesh of my forearms till it was bruised red and raw. I swooned when the macho hero/boy next door finally kissed the busty femme/girl next door in the volumes of Sweet Dreams and Valentine Romances that filled my bookshelf.
It was everything I thought it was going to be, it was better than I ever imagined. It was fireworks, it was the world buzzing in my ears, it was the knowledge of the forbidden fruit. In fact, in retrospect, it was better than my first sexual experience. I was fortunate to have found myself an experienced kissing partner who had thick lips and knew how to use them.
Then it went all downhill from there.
I've kissed a lot of frogs since that memorable first encounter in my family living room. For one, my technique got better. However, the feeling of that memory ebbed with each guy that followed. Among all the men I've kissed, very few could match that first man's skill, and fewer could arouse the sensations that he did. My next most memorable osculatory exercise happened with that gay guy, who really knew how to plant a knee-weakening smacker on a girl, even if he liked guys better.
Most guys I've kissed probably learned the art of kissing from the instructions they received during "locker-room lessons" with other supposedly more experienced boys. All they probably know about kissing was that they were supposed to put their lips on another pair, plunge your tongue in until you feel your partner's tonsils, then move your lips and tongue around every which way. Horrible. I feel that all those frogs received more action from the crook of their elbow than from a real girl, get my drift? Girls are really doing guys a disservice by refusing to point out their partner's flaws because of shyness, or fear of offending him. I would never hestitate to tell a man that he is a lousy kisser, and instruct him on the fine art of kissing.
The three worst offenders are
Slobberers--Guys who release a cascade of drool on my face and neck
Gnawers--Guys who think that my bottom lip is chewy beef jerky. Dude, whoever told you biting on a girl's bottom lip is sexy was SOOO WRONG! That is okay if done once or twice, but use it upon moderation and depending on the situation.
Hockey players (aka the Gene Simmons)--My tonsils are not a goal to be reached, and the tongue is not supposed to be stiff during a kiss. Our tongues are not battling lightsabers! This is not a contest to learn how far your tongue will go. Activating my gag reflex is not a nice thing to do, believe me.
I believe that I have enough experience in this department to instruct people on how to be a great kisser. So here is what I have to offer to the world to instruct people on how to become great kissers.
Pucker up! Soft lips are the way to go. Try to channel your inner Angelina Jolie. Think that your lips are a cushion to land on.
Be flexible. Go with the flow. Kissing is not an exercise where you have to do three reps of every technique, where there are solid steps to be followed. In fact, there is no one solid technique to kiss. Kissing is an art, where skill meets instinct. Play it by ear. Move your lips to meet where your partner is headed, or comply be his/her unspoken need or demand. Is your partner not giving tongue? Don't force it. Go by it slowly and gently.
When the kissing gets to its most intense, I feel that people suck by instinct. Give in to the sucking, but don't overdo it. A hoover belongs on the neck, not in the mouth, unless you want to swallow a gallon of your partner's spit. If you don't mind it, or if you even like it, you have a weird fetish and are a sick, sick person.
A kiss doesn't solely belong on the lips. There are other body parts that get lonely too.
Be creative! Have fun! A kiss is supposed to be enjoyed! It is the interlude before things to come.
Do it with passion! Kisses convey more than what you think they do. Think about Jesus receiving the kiss of betrayal from Judas. Your partner can definitely feel whether you feel awkward or are not 100 percent present. If you know little about kissing, do not hesitate to play student. Your partner will not think that you're a loser just because you don't know how to kiss properly. This could lead to role-playing, and everyone knows how sexy that can get.
A kiss can mean a lot of things. It can convey joy, anger, love, fear. It can be an effective mood-alterer, and it makes foreplay more interesting. A kiss is loaded with symbolism and meaning, so never ever underestimate the power of a kiss. Honestly, I haven't received a decent or memorable kiss in a very long time. I feel that guys think more about technique than focus on pleasuring the person they're kissing. I do love to kiss people. I hope that the next decent romantic kiss I receive will contain all the fireworks the world has to offer, will wire me in to all the possibilities of the universe.
Until then, with bated breath. MWAH!
6 comments:
i'm a hugger more than a kisser, but if needed, well... *bows gracefully* i can bring it on. will share this memorable experience with an ex: it was our first kiss and he planted his thick lips on mine and proceeded to suffocate me (sa laki ng labi niya, pati ilong ko, natakpan, mayday! mayday!). so i gently pushed him away and told him that his kiss s-u-c-k-e-d. (pardon the pun) and he was sooo offended. i'm the only girl daw who ever complained; everybody else was content daw. we went on to last for 5 years, on and off, in the next 9 years. and i can tell you, the kissing did get better. as for the bedding experience, well... maybe that's why we're ex-es. :)
He he he.
This post reminds me of something really babaw I did at age 18. I had this spiral notebook (silver cover) where I'd write the guy's name (or codename if I forget to ask their real name) and across it I'd give a rating, from one to five stars. Then some anecdotes about the over-all impact and how I felt.
It was a "kissing phase" for me when I literally "kissed and told". I stopped counting at 19 names. After that I lost interested in guys. Blame it on my poor taste, but almost all of them except ONE (yeah, just ONE!) were slobbers, gnawers, really lousy kissers. :-(
Those were the days.
~~doms
sigh...can i apply for apprenticeship!:)
This is a very well-written article! Excellent work. :)
Cute naman ending e :* haha!
I do not think of myself as a great kisser.I think I classify in the 'sloppy' department....heheheheh ^_^;. (At least I haven't received any complaints so far in my life....which is most probably a good thing^^')
note to cathy:
In reply of your post from my last blog post; No, I don't I am ready yet for fatherhood....which is like,annoys and angers me more for feeling like this,ya know?^^; (curse these damn male sensitivity hormones.why cant my hormones just make me horny 100% of the time like the rest of the guys?)
And I kinda doubt I myself would make a good father....for you see, I'm like an @$$hole 50% of the time when i'm awake.*lolz* ^_^; (my kids would probably gun me down when they reahced 21 years of age and have applied for gun license*lolz*)
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