It's always the quiet ones, you know

I was watching The 40-Year Old Virgin with Thomas last Saturday at the Glorietta 4 Cinema when my phone beeped. It was from my college schoolchum, E.

"Cathy, E here. Have a seat. U free tomorrow 11 am? Come to my baby's baptism, St. **** Church. Mass starts at 10 am."

Me: "Oh. My. GOD!"

E, as far as I was concerned, was the 40 year old virgin. She is the kind of girly-girl typically found in Catholic schools: No boyfriend since birth, the "Eek! Boys!" sorta person.

I just had to, HAD TO be there myself. And there she was, baby and all. She had her pre-baby body back, but with new massive bosoms characteristic of breastfeeding mothers.

I felt so betrayed (because apparently, I was the last to know), bewildered, and shocked. Her dad is a lay minister at their Church, her mom the principal of a school. I also felt somewhat concerned that perhaps my tales of debauchery in University pushed her over the edge.

The story behind the baby is even more incredible. She has become the personification of an urban myth, a cautionary warning the nuns tell us schoolgirls. Apparently, the absent father is a married man. He's the first guy she ever slept with, and it was the first time she ever had sex. All it took was one hit and BAM! The Supersperm has landed!

Why, oh why, did they not wear a condom? My friends say that the guy is handsome and a known sweet-talker. But still, getting pregnant after a one night stand? Sounds like an Almodovar movie.

I also know another nice, Catholic schoolgirl who knowingly entered into a relationship with a known seed-thrower who left her three years and a son later.

I am not the poster child for responsible sexual behavior. Everyone knows that I have recklessly indulged in the forbidden. If little Ms. E can get pregnant with one hit, why haven't I gotten pregnant yet? Naku, baog yata ako!

Anyway, Jessica Simpson, E, and Nice Catholic Schoolgirl are all examples of why I believe sex before marriage is a must. When a good girl gets some dick, she goes bad. And how!