Since I started going out with Thomas, I realized that indeed, most Filipinas are thought of as domestic help and prostitutes abroad, since a lot of our women are willing maids or mail-order brides in developed countries.
However, I realized that the discrimination at home can be far worse. My aunt is a sad testament that we Filipinos could be just as prejudiced as foreigners are of Filipinas. Worse, I, too, was one of those prejudiced people.
Whenever I passed by Filipinas and foreigners walking side by side, I often wonder about the circumstances behind their union. Admittedly, I would sometimes snidely call the uglier women "mukhang katulong" or "japayuki" or mail order brides. However, I never took this decision to hook up with foreign guys against these women, since I always attributed their pairing to economic factors. But I would raise my nose in disgust at the men, usually aged and pot-bellied, as the sad also-rans of the West. In short, I never thought that these unions were love connections.
When I started going out with the German, I realized that now I was the subject of these judgmental opinions, as I gradually became aware of the quizzical looks of passers-by whenever we are out about town.
Sometimes, I am tempted to answer back, "Excuse me, mas mapera pa ako sa lalaking ito, " since in reality, we really are equal in the relationship. I am older than him. I am financially independent. I have my own opinions. We did not hook up because of money.
In several instances, Pinoys would right off the bat ask "How did you meet? Sa internet?" Though there is nothing wrong if Thomas and I had indeed met on-line (we didn't), I personally am annoyed, since it makes me feel that the comment implies that I was trawling the internet for a foreign boyfriend. This, too, could mean discrimination on my part, and perhaps I need to revise my views on internet pairings.
We are the immediate target of mendicants, hawkers, street vendors and their ilk, who would assume that he is moneyed.
The weirdest phenomenon happens whenever we eat out. Waiters would be more attentive to him, but talk to me to explain things. Perhaps, because they depend on me to interpret. Thing is, Thomas can speak intelligible English. I am not sure whether this is an insult to his intelligence, or a lack of confidence in speaking the English language on their part.
I do notice that Asians are more opposed to inter-racial romances. I noticed that usually, family or religious prejudice in marriages are only set aside in Asia whenever money is concerned. I may be wrong, but I have a sneaking suspicion that any objections to these unions are overcome if the Asian is perceived to be marrying somebody economically better-off than they are. But then again, these financial objections apply to any family in the world. My family have their apprehensions about Thomas, but his mother is eager to meet me and wasted no time in welcoming me to the family.
My friend, Kestrel, who i studying in the UK, said the same thing. Generally, she and her Japanese boyfriend Miki are not hassled in the streets of London. However, his family is against her because she is a Filipina, and all Filipinas are japayukis who wear used clothes from Japan, in their opinion. His family is so racist, even if Kestrel's wealth can rival that of Miki's.
I am starting to fear that I will be subjected to the same prejudicial treatment in Europe or elsewhere in the world when I am with Thomas, even if I speak better English than the German. Even if he assures me that inter-racial pairings are common in Europe, I still cannot feel settled about whatever lies in store for me in his side of the world.
Perhaps, we need to re-educate Pinoys and Asians on YAP. It seems that even our own countrymen and women need to look at themselves with more love, respect, and self-esteem.
NikkiAlfar
Tobie Abad
Gabby Lee
Andre Mischa Cleofe
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