The Borne Pessimist

I'm a pessimist by nature. It was my conscious choice to be an optimist, and I daily try to see the brighter side, to be happy, to be grateful of the little things. Being a bummed out person all the time is a bit of a drag, and honestly doesn't really contribute to wittiness or a "cool cred,' despite what others may say. Besides, I was sick and tired of being sick and tired of life.

Not that I had anything to complain about lately. I just hung out with friends the last couple of days with my friends, and I was so amazed that I could actually relate to a human being and think outside of myself for sometime, something I was incapable of in the not so recent past.

Two of my friends are nursing a heartbreak, and neither is at fault. Really, circumstances can be a bitch, aint it? It sucks that love is such a confusing emotion. A real mindfuck, being in love. Another friend and I spent yesterday day in a delicious wallet-busting shopping spree. A bitch on the budget...but all those pretty clothes *drools* !

It was fun to be girly and giggly, as Leslie and I were in our best "sex-in -the-city" mode as we tried on outfits.
Leslie: "That blouse is soooo Samantha!"
Me: "Does this dress look a bit too Charlotte for you?'

As we giggled about boys, her new prospect, trashed exes and rated lovers, It made me wish I had more friends like her. I mean, its fun to be able to have friends from all sorts of groups. The goth people, posers, anime freaks, J-rock kids, rockers, hip-hop heads, party people, ravers, potheads, sinners and saints, everyone. It's great to have adult friends whom you could talk to about anything and nothing, to speak volumes but not talk. To banter earth-shattering opinions with or gossip about the most trivial showbiz crap. But lately the adults I've been hanging with feel like little kids in big bodies. And the adults are a bit too guarded. They watch what they say too much, snipe at each other behind each others' backs too often. I miss my college friends. Too bad they're all busy reviewing for the bar, and I have no interest in becoming a lawyer.

I think I have met my first cyber-stalker. This guy , whom I didn't know, sent me a friendster message saying that he read my article on Seeker magazine (issue 3) , and looked for me on friendster, and found my profile on cosplaylab (whose url I only give out to friends who ask to see my work). He asked me when the next cosplay event was and I invited him to come over so we'd meet. Woot woot! I've got a stalker! I've cyber-stalked guys before (Like Discovery Channel's Faking It drag queen Andy), but I've never been cyber-stalked before. Most of my real-world stalkers have become my friends, and it's worked pretty well for me. I hope this guy's cute. I guess I've made it as a cosplayer! Now as a journalist, I'm waiting to celebrate my first death threat.