My Secret Love

I would personally never enter into a relationship that would need to be kept secret. I've gotten burned pretty badly in relationships that needed to be kept secret. It turns out there is a pretty compelling reason for my partner to want to keep the relationship secret...which turns out to be detrimental to my welfare.
There are various reasons why a liaison should be kept under wraps. The three leading causes are:
1) Your paramour is married/attached
2) you live in a restrictive culture/family. This holds especially true in cases where a lover's family is conservative/restrictive or when the relationship is homosexual
3) it is an office romance.
Unfortunately, I have seen cases of all three.

The first one is most hurtful. Not only to the lovers, but to the families (and children) involved as weel. My father's on the side shenanigans, unfortunately, is considered acceptable in Philippine society. Girls are taught to grin and bear it, since anyway, my husband still goes home to me. Rarely do these affairs work, and they only probably do because the lovers were actually probably meant to be with each other. This is one convention that I would probably never defy.

My friend's latest office romance has gotten me to reminisce about Mr. FedEx, a guy I dated while I was working there. Turns out the reason why he wanted to keep the relationship secret was he was shagging the boss as well. A blow to the ego and a blow to the heart. Office romances can work, but it gets awkward as hell when it doesn't. In this type of affair, advices are never really standard, since no two romances are the same. All I can say to this is, love and let love. Hopefully it all works out for the best. Besides, a lot of office romances are actually extra-marital affairs.

Familial/societal constraints usually engender "you and me against the world" type situations, and usually galvanizes lovers toward defiance of society or family. This is a situation where both parties could actually churn out a happy ending. I have a sneaking suspicion that two of my friends are at it again. HAAAY! Bahala kayo! On-off, on-off. Oh well it's none of my business and I don't want to pry, so good luck to you both!

RULE OF THUMB: If an affair needs to be kept secret, there is usually something fishy going on. If you want to live your life in honesty, then don't engage in "secret romances." If you still decide to defy convention, well, good luck, and for your sake, I hope you don;t get caught too soon.