Wordsmiths Unite!

I am reading my copy of Stunk and White's Element of Style. I've always been bothered by the very first rule:

Form the possessive singular of nouns by adding 's.
Follow this rule whatever the final consonant. Thus write,
Charles's friend
Burns's poems
the witch's malice

I've always written possesives of nouns ending in s with just an apostrophe, for example:

He added that the tense situation is being further fueled by Justice Sec. Raul Gonzales’ “psychotic statements.”

I've been taught that it is sufficient to form possessives of nouns ending in s with an apostrope in grade school by all of my English teachers. In my university, my professors did the same, even if Strunk and White's bible was recommended reading in journalism school.

What gives? I'd like to conduct an opinion poll to get rid of the doubt that forms at the back of my head every time I need to form a possessive of a noun ending in s!

UPDATE: Thanks, to Anansi Girl, I discovered that Jessica Zafra now has a blog.
Even if I'm not much of a fan, she still is an interesting read.



NikkiAlfar

Tobie Abad

Gabby Lee

Andre Mischa Cleofe

Meat and Potatoes

Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. Men are visual, women rely on a more compleat sensory experience. He likes to look, I like to talk dirty.

I read somewhere that men are more turned on by hardcore pornography, while women like their porn movies with a plot, a narrative, soft lights, and wholesome, un-slutty looking women. I learned that I probably am an exception to this rule!

Looking for more variety in my sex life, I picked up a pirated porn video on my way home yesterday. The box read "Kama Sutra: Six-in-one video." As soon as I got home, Arashi-Kishu, pornographer and pirate, was eager to watch and learn.

Its not unusual for couples to watch and learn from pornography. Like every male, he has his own stash of porn, though it's not enough to rival Dean's

Now, I have nothing against pornography. As long as the players in it are legal, no anal, no animals, no children, no extremely weird fetishes, fine by me. But I have to reiterate that I am an FHM , not a Cosmo girl.

As soon as we hit the "play" button, we were greeted by a worried housewife who felt that she wasn't good enough in the sack. While house cleaning, she chances upon an old sex tape of her husband banging his ex-wife.

I am unused to watching women's porn, so I went "What the fuck?" I don't like it when women in my porn are insecure about their bodies.

What totally ruined the mood for me and made me burst out laughing was the scene where the "liberated" housewife was fake-banging her husband away. Her hubby, who was the "bottom," was obviously aroused by all the wriggling on top of him. He had his legs crossed, probably to hide his erection! Since this was soft-core stuff, the actors probably would like to think that they're not pornographers.

Second story was about a well-endowed lesbian who gets aroused while she peeks at her straight roomie with her boyfriend while making out .

Him: "Ooh, she looks slutty. Maybe this would be better than the last one."
Me: "I hope so. Push the forward button! Get to the sex!"
Lesbo on screen, to her shrink: "I have never been with a man before. So you think I'm missing something?"

So Lezzie proposes a threesome to straight roommate. Roommate agrees. Cut to the next scene, where the women are wearing Jane Fonda-style spandex thongs. The most boring three-way in the history of porn commences.

Me: "Are they serious?"
Him: "What are they wearing? Her ass looks ugly!"

By the time we made our way to movie number four, which demonstrated several sex positions for ex-gymnasts, I was already half-asleep, my libido completely gone. This was waaay more boring than the Paris Hilton sex video. This was evidence that given the right treatment, even sex can be boring!

Which means, I'll stick to good ole' hardcore American porn, thank you very much.

Halloween Kawaii!

I couldn't resist taking pictures! They revamped our office condominium for the holidays, how deliciously kitsch! The cosplayer in me is giggling!



Dracula vs. Frankenstein, Round 1!



The ring girl!



Fight!



The spectators!



The mumu in the corner!



The haunted tree!

Whirlwind Mindoro

The photo that landed the online edition.

Try to see what life is like in my side of the fence.

Since Thomas wants to see all the green that we have in the Philippines, I signed him up as my "photographer" for a whirlwind trip to Calapan, Oriental Mindoro for a Greenpeace event. Honestly, Greenpeace's "radical" reputation had me nervous about embarking on this trip. Since they mysteriously sold their "big story" as a "great photo opportunity," I was afraid that this would involve trekking to the mountains and camping out. I am not Ms. Camper Girl.

I excused myself for a day from job # 1, so Thomas and I braved the pouring rain, traffic, and floods to get to the Greenpeace office in Quezon City. We were briefed by Leah Guerrero, the Greenpeace media officer who I later found out to be the fabled "Anime seamstress" of the cosplaying world. Long inactive now in the cosplaying community, she was previously employed by the Hans Seidel Foundation, another German NGO like the Konrad Adenauer Foundation where Thomas works. Since we had several things in common, I was put at ease, because I knew a stranger, who was not quite so removed from me.
--------------

7:30, my ass. It was 8 pm, and we were still waiting for the other media people who signed up for the trip. We finally left at 8:15, for a long, tiresome trip to Calapan.

The ferry reached the Calapan port at 2 a.m., three hours late from the estimated time of arrival Greenpeace had told us. By this time, all the media people and photographers have become a merry band of brothers, exchanging crude jokes and stories. Thomas was practically drooping, while I had my eye on the things that needed to be done. The Municipal Agricultural Officer of Naujan, Oriental Mindoro picked us up from the ferry. Though I told Thomas that we should try to act "professional" and try to act as if we weren't related, people kind of smelled it anyway. Since the jig was up, Greenpeace set us up in the same room.

Grace, the other media officer, told us that they will pick us up at 7 am. Oh boy.
----------------

Last one in, early to rise. I was up and surprisingly un-groggy at 6:30 am. I showered and dressed, then woke up a recalcitrant Thomas, who wanted more sleep. 7 am, my ass.

They finally arrived a quarter to 8. At least everybody is ready.
------

Too bad we never really got to see much of the island. We were there to work, after all. They took us to a nearby corn farm, where Greenpeace volunteers were dressed in weird "biohazard" suits, which didn't look protective enough from what unknown danger they are shielding themselves against. Apparently Naujan officials are protesting the entry of genetically engineered BT Corn into their province. The Spacemen began uprooting the corn plants, as they explained that they were wearing the suits to prevent the spread of BT pollen. I wonder if anybody informed them that the wind can spread pollen as well.

Thomas is a good shot, and is in fact, better than me. Good thing that I brought him as well, since I had my hands full interviewing people and getting details. We left at 9 am, racing against time to catch the 9:30 am catamaran back to Batangas. Alas, no dice. We had to wait for two more hours for the next boat. Thomas and I whiled away the time with eating and playing his stupid German cards. Of course, I lost. Oh fun.
------

The three hour journey back to Manila under the pouring rain was really not fun. We arrived home drenched to the bone, and only had enough time to shower and attend Toastmaster's Club. Hm, maybe I'm not cut for the Amazing Race.



NikkiAlfar

Tobie Abad

Gabby Lee

Andre Mischa Cleofe

It's always the quiet ones, you know

I was watching The 40-Year Old Virgin with Thomas last Saturday at the Glorietta 4 Cinema when my phone beeped. It was from my college schoolchum, E.

"Cathy, E here. Have a seat. U free tomorrow 11 am? Come to my baby's baptism, St. **** Church. Mass starts at 10 am."

Me: "Oh. My. GOD!"

E, as far as I was concerned, was the 40 year old virgin. She is the kind of girly-girl typically found in Catholic schools: No boyfriend since birth, the "Eek! Boys!" sorta person.

I just had to, HAD TO be there myself. And there she was, baby and all. She had her pre-baby body back, but with new massive bosoms characteristic of breastfeeding mothers.

I felt so betrayed (because apparently, I was the last to know), bewildered, and shocked. Her dad is a lay minister at their Church, her mom the principal of a school. I also felt somewhat concerned that perhaps my tales of debauchery in University pushed her over the edge.

The story behind the baby is even more incredible. She has become the personification of an urban myth, a cautionary warning the nuns tell us schoolgirls. Apparently, the absent father is a married man. He's the first guy she ever slept with, and it was the first time she ever had sex. All it took was one hit and BAM! The Supersperm has landed!

Why, oh why, did they not wear a condom? My friends say that the guy is handsome and a known sweet-talker. But still, getting pregnant after a one night stand? Sounds like an Almodovar movie.

I also know another nice, Catholic schoolgirl who knowingly entered into a relationship with a known seed-thrower who left her three years and a son later.

I am not the poster child for responsible sexual behavior. Everyone knows that I have recklessly indulged in the forbidden. If little Ms. E can get pregnant with one hit, why haven't I gotten pregnant yet? Naku, baog yata ako!

Anyway, Jessica Simpson, E, and Nice Catholic Schoolgirl are all examples of why I believe sex before marriage is a must. When a good girl gets some dick, she goes bad. And how!

YAP! A Paradigm shift

At the risk of being flamed once again (as what happened during my first 'Yan ang Pinay! post, I will once again speak on an epiphany I had on the subject.

Since I started going out with Thomas, I realized that indeed, most Filipinas are thought of as domestic help and prostitutes abroad, since a lot of our women are willing maids or mail-order brides in developed countries.

However, I realized that the discrimination at home can be far worse. My aunt is a sad testament that we Filipinos could be just as prejudiced as foreigners are of Filipinas. Worse, I, too, was one of those prejudiced people.

Whenever I passed by Filipinas and foreigners walking side by side, I often wonder about the circumstances behind their union. Admittedly, I would sometimes snidely call the uglier women "mukhang katulong" or "japayuki" or mail order brides. However, I never took this decision to hook up with foreign guys against these women, since I always attributed their pairing to economic factors. But I would raise my nose in disgust at the men, usually aged and pot-bellied, as the sad also-rans of the West. In short, I never thought that these unions were love connections.

When I started going out with the German, I realized that now I was the subject of these judgmental opinions, as I gradually became aware of the quizzical looks of passers-by whenever we are out about town.

Sometimes, I am tempted to answer back, "Excuse me, mas mapera pa ako sa lalaking ito, " since in reality, we really are equal in the relationship. I am older than him. I am financially independent. I have my own opinions. We did not hook up because of money.

In several instances, Pinoys would right off the bat ask "How did you meet? Sa internet?" Though there is nothing wrong if Thomas and I had indeed met on-line (we didn't), I personally am annoyed, since it makes me feel that the comment implies that I was trawling the internet for a foreign boyfriend. This, too, could mean discrimination on my part, and perhaps I need to revise my views on internet pairings.

We are the immediate target of mendicants, hawkers, street vendors and their ilk, who would assume that he is moneyed.

The weirdest phenomenon happens whenever we eat out. Waiters would be more attentive to him, but talk to me to explain things. Perhaps, because they depend on me to interpret. Thing is, Thomas can speak intelligible English. I am not sure whether this is an insult to his intelligence, or a lack of confidence in speaking the English language on their part.

I do notice that Asians are more opposed to inter-racial romances. I noticed that usually, family or religious prejudice in marriages are only set aside in Asia whenever money is concerned. I may be wrong, but I have a sneaking suspicion that any objections to these unions are overcome if the Asian is perceived to be marrying somebody economically better-off than they are. But then again, these financial objections apply to any family in the world. My family have their apprehensions about Thomas, but his mother is eager to meet me and wasted no time in welcoming me to the family.

My friend, Kestrel, who i studying in the UK, said the same thing. Generally, she and her Japanese boyfriend Miki are not hassled in the streets of London. However, his family is against her because she is a Filipina, and all Filipinas are japayukis who wear used clothes from Japan, in their opinion. His family is so racist, even if Kestrel's wealth can rival that of Miki's.

I am starting to fear that I will be subjected to the same prejudicial treatment in Europe or elsewhere in the world when I am with Thomas, even if I speak better English than the German. Even if he assures me that inter-racial pairings are common in Europe, I still cannot feel settled about whatever lies in store for me in his side of the world.

Perhaps, we need to re-educate Pinoys and Asians on YAP. It seems that even our own countrymen and women need to look at themselves with more love, respect, and self-esteem.



NikkiAlfar

Tobie Abad

Gabby Lee

Andre Mischa Cleofe

Tooned!

Thanks Jac!

Obsessed

I'm scared of my aunt. She called my dorm on Saturday morning just to check whether I slept there. She called my cellphone while I was in a cab on my way to Paranaque. I refused to answer her.

When I got home to my parent's house, I unmindfully answered the ringing phone.

"Where did you sleep last night?"

I replied, "Not in my dorm."

She demanded that I tell her where I slept. I kept my mouth shut. I told her, "I was hurt by what you said to me, so I don't think I want to talk to you right now."

War.

"Ano ba, binabastos mo ba ako? (Are you being rude to me?) Just answer the question, where did you sleep last night? Talagang kinakalaban mo ba ako? (Do you really want to fight me?) Ang cheap mo. (You're so cheap.) Ang cheap cheap mooooooooo!"* the last word becoming a shrill note.

She began sobbing.

"Bakit mo ba ako ginaganito, Cathy? After everything I've done for you, ito pa ang gagawin mo sa akin. Ang taas ng tingin ko sa iyo. (Why are you doing this to me? After everything I've done for you, this is how you'd repay me? I think so highly of you.) You just gave up your virginity (?) to a guy who is not worth it."*

My grandmother began to tag-team me, warning me of the risks of pregnancy and HIV. "If anything happens to your aunt, if she dies, it's your fault!"

Calmly, I explained that I am an adult and that they need to let go of me. I am not responsible for her life, as she is not responsible for mine. No dice.

She's blaming Thomas for my "attitude change" and is threatening to fly home for a battle royale. I warned Thomas about it.

Frankly, what's my business is my business.I guess I am partly to blame for this, since I led her to the mistaken belief that I am still a virgin, just because I kept mum about my boyfriends to her. My aunt is the sort of person who only hears what she wants to hear, and has now made it her personal mission to make my life a living hell. She calls my dorm incessantly to check whether I slept there. She threatens and pesters my family so I would obey her.

I understand that all she wants is to ensure that I am in good hands, that I am not being used by Thomas. But even so, whatever happens between us is OUR business, not hers. If I am being used, so what? I know she cares for me, but I am not that stupid to not be able to rise after every fall. Nor to jeopardize anything I worked for. Does the fact that Thomas and I share expenses for everything mean that he doesn't respect me? I'm looking for an equal, not a servant. I will not solely date a man because of his ability to take care of me.

She and my mom are begging me to return back to Paranaque. Hell NO! I was miserable when I lived with my parents! Have they forgotten that?

*sigh* Somebody give me an aspirin. Gosh, I never thought that my aunt was this attached to me. Does anybody have an idea of how I can handle this?

"Think Cathy, think, why I am reacting this way?"

Because you love me too much.

Life is NOT a Beach: Trip~Marinduque

I am a horrible aunt.

Of all times my sister could give birth, she had to go into labor on Sept. 8, 2005, on the day Thomas and I planned to go to Marinduque, an island a couple of kilometers from Luzon. She was not due until Sept. 15.

I was frankly, torn between my sister and my boyfriend. I sincerely wanted to stay, but I was worried that the German could not hack it on his own in Marinduque.

I tried to justify to myself reasons that I am not necessary in the scheme of things.

One, this is baby number three.
Two, I was also not present during the birth of baby number 2.

On the trip side, I knew the German could survive without me.

So we went to the hospital, and the German asked my sister if she would be mad if I went to Marinduque. He knew that I wanted to stay. My sister gave us her blessing to leave. Off we went.

She was born on a stormy day, Maria Cristina Clarisse Apolinario, at 5:30 p.m.
--------

I received the news via a text message as Thomas and I were racing to the Dalahican port in Quezon. The jeepney dispatcher tried to rip us off by charging us P 290 so we could leave before the last ferry for Marinduque leaves at 7:00 p.m. Of course we said no.

When we got there, we were drenched, miserable, and abandoned. Damned driver.
-------

We stayed at the Roadside Inn for the night. It was not bad for a motel, P 540 for 12 hours. The amenities were acceptable, the room was air-conditioned, and the food was accpetable. Overall, the room was worth the price, especially if compared to the P 400 room we got at the pagsanjan Garden Resort. Thomas was tickled by the idea that we were in a "sex hotel." We dried ourselves off and slept early so we could catch the 4 a.m. fastboat, the first trip to Marinduque for the day.
------

We got to Marinduque at 5:30 am. We were met by the staff of VIce Governor Leandro Palma, our host during the visit. We got to our room, safe and sound. We had a full day ahead of us. No time to rest, as we wanted to survey the island.

We went to the Provincial Capitol before lunch, and we were treated to a Putong ceremony! Thomas and I were crowned as king and queen for a day, I think. Flowers, dancing, and a rattan crown were placed over our heads. It was quite a welcome! I was also overwhelmed. That afternoon, we also went on a tour in the island, especially in the parts heavily affected by heavy metal pollution.

We gathered data from the Provincial Tourism officer and the Provincial Agricultural Office, and photocopieed maps. We ascertained that the southern part of the island was ideal for the project. At the center of the island is a national park, and a mountainous region. Thereby, off limits. The Southern part had extensive grasslands and rice fields. Since the mines were located at the North part of the island, we were assured that the rivers at the south were not polluted by the waste that killed the Mogpog and Boac rivers, both located at the northwest quadrant of the island.
----

We discovered the extent of how badly polluted parts of Marinduque are because of the irresponsible mining of copper in the area. Until now, I am not certain whether only these areas in Marinduque are affected. Maybe the whole island is. Until now, people do not know whether their drinking water has been contaminated by heavy metals. I think they prefer not to know. The Boac river has become a sandly trickle of a tributary, and the Mogpog River has become a reddish muddy field. Green water oozed from both rivers.

We went to Calancan Bay at the north area of the island. where most of the silt from the mines were dumped. There was a guard who suspiciously asked us questions as to why we wanted to enter the beach. He wanted to know if we were the pesky journalists or environmentalists who keep on making trouble for them. Most of the Vice Governor's men were employees of Marcopper. Each camp eyed each other with animosity. Good thing I didn't bring my big-ass camera. We were eventually allowed in. The place looked clean and beautiful. However, we knew otherwise. We saw fishermen hauling in their catch. I wonder if the fish were poisoned as well?

That night, we met with Elmer, the Provincial Agriculturist. Luck smiled on us. Elmer used to be part of the Philippine Dairy Corp., and had extensive experience with cows and dairy farming!
-----

The next day we roved the circumference of the island. We saw in greater detail the southern part of Marinduque, the target of the cow project. We were taken to the white sand beach in Torrijos, the southernmost municipality in the island's six towns. It is also the poorest and least developed part of the island. We frolicked for a bit, and returned to our survey.

Later that night, we met with the Provincial Veterinarian, who was tired after a day of insemnating cows. It was part of the provincial program to improve the local breed of livestock. He was the most pessimistic and defeated man I've ever met. All that came out of his mouth was "it's hard," "it can't be done," and so forth. A good thing came out of our meeting, however: We knew that that we had to focus on educating and prepare the farmers socially for dairy farming.
---------

We woke up for an early Sunday mass at 8 am. We had to leave Marinduque early to catch the 11 am ferry for Manila. The Vice Governor's family was based in Manila, and he was eager to be reunited with them.

We arrived in Manila at 5 p.m., and I got to see my new niece for the first time.



NikkiAlfar

Tobie Abad

Gabby Lee

Andre Mischa Cleofe

The Anthems of My Youth

Ahh...1996. I was a nerd in high school that hung out with my hopelessly cool sister, who was at the time, with her hip-hop loving posse. Parañaque is hip-hop country, with Andrew E at the helm. I decided to re-visit my musical past after reading Jonas' blog. I felt a bit nostalgic going through the list. I decided to remove some of the songs I didn't know to give way for my comments.
Macarena (Bayside Boys Mix), Los Del Rio- Thomas is annoyed that I compulsively dance to this. I still know the steps.
One Sweet Day, Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men-Luved this. She was still not as skanky as she is. Loved her Honey phase! and her Fantasy video! I still know the steps
Because You Loved Me, Celine Dion- I liked the Rob Redford-MIchelle Pfiffer movie better.
Always Be My Baby, Mariah Carey- "And you wil linger on, because we're still going strong..."
Tha Crossroads, Bone Thugs-N-Harmony-sing with me! "See you at the crossroads!" Damn memories of house parties galore!
8. I Love You Always Forever, Donna Lewis- Just as I was graduating *sniff* I also liked "Baby, now that I've found you I won't let you go, I built my world around you..."
Twisted, Keith Sweat-you know you wanna dance this with me
Missing, Everything But The Girl
Ironic, Alanis Morissette
Exhale (Shoop Shoop), Whitney Houston- Ergh.
Sittin' Up In My Room, Brandy
How Do U Want It / California Love, 2Pac- They played this non-stop at the clubs at the time. Do the Westside hands for be 'brutha! WS4lyf!
It's All Coming Back To Me Now, Celine Dion-I wanted to cry--in AGONY
Change The World, Eric Clapton
Hey Lover, LL Cool J
Loungin, LL Cool J
Insensitive, Jann Arden
Be My Lover, La Bouche
Name, Goo Goo Dolls
Who Will Save Your Soul, Jewel - I liked Paula Cole better, even when she went disco
Where Do You Go, No Mercy
I Can't Sleep Baby (If I), R. Kelly
Counting Blue Cars, Dishwalla
You Learn / You Oughta Know, Alanis Morissette - Ay! anthem ng mga sawi!
One Of Us, Joan Osborne
Wonder, Natalie Merchant - I recently saw the video for this again, and couldn't help but think how long ago that has been already.
Not Gon' Cry, Mary J. Blige
Gangsta's Paradise, Coolio -Hoooo yea!
Only You, 112 Featuring The Notorious B.I.G.
Down Low (Nobody Has To Know), R. Kelly
1, 2, 3, 4 (Sumpin' New), Coolio
The World I Know, Collective Soul
No Diggity, BLACKstreet (Featuring Dr. Dre) - and sing now! Heyo-heyo-heyo-heyooo!!!
Anything, 3t
1979, The Smashing Pumpkins - poignaant, since I was 16 at the time
Diggin' On You, TLC
Why I Love You So Much / Ain't Nobody, Monica
Fantasy, Mariah Carey - I still know the steps!
You'll See, Madonna
Mouth, Merril Bainbridge - this song made me want to make out., since I hadn't been kissed yet, I made out with my hand.
The Earth, The Sun, The Rain, Color Me Badd
All The Things (Your Man Won't Do), Joe
Wonderwall, Oasis
Woo-hah!! Got You All In Check / Everything Remains Raw, Busta Rhymes
Tell Me, Groove Theory
Elevators (Me and You), Outkast -D pa sila sikat.
Theme From Mission: Impossible, Adam Clayton and Larry Mullen
Just A Girl, No Doubt
Lady, D'angelo -whatever happened to him?
73. Nobody, Keith Sweat
If It Makes You Happy, Sheryl Crow
As I Lay Me Down, Sophie B. Hawkins
Un-Break My Heart, Toni Braxton
This Is Your Night, Amber
Runaway, Janet Jackson
My Boo, Ghost Town Dj's- I still know the steps
That Girl, Maxi Priest Featuring Shaggy
Beautiful Life, Ace Of Base
Back For Good, Take That -great video

Belly of the Beast

As regular readers of my blog know, my favorite aunt has not been a fan of the Cathy-Thom pairing since day 1. I love her to bits, I really do, and she has been very supportive of my endeavors. However, I only lately have realized how much she thinks of me as an extension of herself, and how highly she thinks of me.

You see, she married her on-off boyfriend of 20 years (with 7 years of separation, with 2 marriages on his part) when she was 40. She prides herself for having 'high moral values.' She has pushed unto me many of my present activities like Toastmasters, living alone, and voice lessons, all which I agreed upon because I thought these endeavors are in my best interest. She doesn't appprove of my cosplaying, and so I keep her in the dark about my hobby, and other extra-curriculars, specifically those mentioned in this blog.

Like with all my endeavors, my family is tolerant of my relationship with Thom. My brother and sister are especially cool with it, while my parents have adopted a wait and see attitude. My aunt's opinion on anything is a constant specter that haunts our family life. Though she is in the US, she still has a tight reign over family affairs, and she has the ability to sway people with her opinion, mostly due to her deep American pockets.

She has disapproved of my going on trips with Thomas, and let me have it last Sunday. Gosh, the things she said were so hurtful that I started crying. Worse, Thom was beside me to witness it.

We were in my home in Paranaque for a visit. My aunt's husband is home for a week-long vacation. After a heavy lunch, we were lying down side by side in my sister's bedroom.

Since I started going out with Thom, I had avoided conversations with my aunt, because I knew she disapproved of us. Thom and I were also in Paranaque on Saturday, and he had a Yahoo conversation with my aunt in the States. I thought everything was settled. Our phone conversation the next day proved otherwise.

"Ano, sanay na kayo matulog ng magkatabi, ano? Tarantada ka! Siguro mag-katabi na kayo matulog. Narinig mo ba yung sinabi niya kahapon? Ni hindi man lang niya sinabi na mahal ka niya! Ni wala man lang siyang sinabi na 'Oh, Cathy is so great and amazing!' Ang sinabi lang niya, pumunta ka sa Germany para magtrabaho. Gusto ka niya gawing sugar mommy. Masyado yang bata, wala pa sa isip nyan mag-asawa. Ikaw pa ang lalabas na susuporta sa kanya. Ang swerte naman niyan, may maid na siya, may ka-sex pa! Ni hindi ka yata niligawan niyan! Ipakita mo naman na may dignidad ka, na may values ka, na hindi basta-basta ang Pinay!"

(You're probably so used to sleeping together. You bitch! You heard what he said yesterday? He didn't even tell me that he loved you, that 'Oh, Cathy is so amazing!' All he said that is you need to go to Germany to work. He wants to make you his sugar mommy. He's so young, that marriage is not on his mind yet. You will end up supporting him . He's so lucky, he has a maid and somebody to fuck! I don't think he even courted you! Show him that you have dignity, that you have values, that a Filipina isn't easy to get!)

Thom was so mad. He never experienced being discriminated against. He said that from someone who claims to be Christian, that was the most un-Christian display of behavior he has seen.

I do understand where she is coming from. I know that she has a point. The thing is, this is my life and even if she says that she doesn't want me to end up crying in the end, her shrill speech showed that she doesn't trust me as someone who is capable of running her own life.

I have had a good life so far. I, too, have reservations about moving to Germany. It means that I will start over again, at a time my career here is booming. But we will see. All I know is, I want to ride this out. Screw her. I don't think I want to talk to my aunt ever again. Thank you for being my guiding light, but sorry, Tita, you have pushed me too far. Just because you helped me through some tough times doesn't mean that you have a grip over me.

I think Thom and I have a chance together. Over dinner last night, I told him that I was going to attend a press conference in the American Embassy today, in "the belly of the beast." I thought that he would get this idiom, since he has been outspoken about President Bush's policies. However, he asked me to explain. I told him that this means, I will go to the house of the devil.

Wide-eyed, he goes, "Oh, you mean your house in Paranaque?"

And I laughed at the face of the devil.



NikkiAlfar

Tobie Abad

Gabby Lee

Andre Mischa Cleofe

Giving a Cow

It all started with fresh milk.

Thomas was frustrated that he couldn't buy fresh milk in the Philippines. He is used to drinking 3.5 percent fat fresh milk, and all the "fresh milk" sold in the country are really full cream milk, ultra heat-treated milk, and evaporated milk. Being a typical occasional-dairy drinking Pinoy, I could not really tell or taste the difference. For me, milk is milk.

In the various conferences he has attended because of work, he found out that Philippine importation of dairy is one of the biggest sources of budget drain in the country.

I also found out that Filipino farmers can supply only one percent of the local demand for dairy! Lack of government support has doomed efforts to establish dairy farming in the country.

We are now in the initial phases of the COW PROJECT. We are group of people who want to change all this. We are in the process of trying to establish a mid-scale organic dairy farming community in Marinduque. This would also address the employment problem in Marinduque, which was devastated by the Marcopper mining accident years ago. The loss of the mining industry in the town has dealt a harsh blow to the provincial economy. We hope that we could establish a profitable exterprise that would be owned by the people of Marinduque, and keep them from falling prey to abusive companies.

Its all very heady, these talks about how to secure grant funding from the ADB, the German government. We are still kind of clueless on how to go about it, so we are talking to several NGO experts on how to go about it.

I am also inspired by the success of Dr. Justino Arboleda, the inventor of coconet. I feel that his struggles to push for his coconut husk products to the world and his desire to help coconut farmers should be a lesson in never giving up. It took international recognition for our government to finally fund his endeavors, after 20 years of rejecting his entreaties for funding.

It took a German for me to see that I, too, can do great things for our country, and shake me out of my apathy by "looking at the big picture." It took a German for me to shake my feeling that the country is a hopeless case. Can you imagine how great our country would be if more Filipinos care for our country as much as he does? And can you imagine, he's only 20!

Trip Part 3-San Pablo

After the incident at the falls, we headed to San Pablo, a two-hour jeep ride away. We were smashed. Thom promptly fell asleep. while I remained awake for the rest of the trip. We actually wanted to go to San Pablo on Sunday, but our bout with the boatman and substandard room forced us to leave Pagsanjan earlier than expected.

I tried making arrangements with people from San Pablo to find a place to stay there. Alas, it seems that the people of San Pablo were, citing a resident of the place, "tourists in our own city"!

Most of the information we have, we got from our travel book. The book, and our friend, Jac, who unfortunately could not meet us in San Pablo that Saturday, all pointed us to Coco Palace, reputedly the best hotel in town. I was hesitant to enter into any other hotels, as they sounded like sleazy 12-hour hires for illicit affairs, if the descriptions in the travel guide were to be believed.

Though we were weary, Thom was adamant that we had to be in a place that overlooked the lake, a feature that the Coco Palace didn't have. I just wanted to get into a nice, comfortable hotel, with a nice, comfortable bed. We wandered by the lakeshore, where we hoped a place for travelers would be open. We were pretty sure something of the sort had to be open.

Remember those movies and short stories where people are lost in the woods, then suddenly a bright, spanking new house appears in the horizon, like an oasis or a mirage with the promise of food and shelter, and hints at either good or sinister things to come? That's what we felt like when we saw Tahanan ni Aling Meding, a newly-opened 11-room hotel that feels more like a bed-and-breakfast. With reasonably rated rooms, Thom picked out P 2,000 de luxe room with a view of the lake. Perhaps as an apology, but he said that he was really tired and wanted a nice, comfortable bed.



Plopping down our bed, Thomas said, "See sweetie? As long as the place is worth the money, I am willing to pay big."

We woke up early the next morning to catch the sunrise. It was glorious. The vista from our balcony was worth much more than what we paid for.



The next day, Thom and I met Jac, Raipo and Gerry for a Komikero meeting. We had a very interesting discussion with Raipo on the COW PROJECT. We stayed a while because it was the Komikero's anniversary after all. Gerry introduced Thom to Google Earth, marking the beginnning of Thom's current obsession with it.

We were met with the pouring rain when we got home. Exhausted, we promptly slept a deep sleep, as we dreamed of future travels.

Next stop: Marinduque



NikkiAlfar

Tobie Abad

Gabby Lee

Andre Mischa Cleofe

A Public Service Announcement

The hypocondriac in me would like to express my profound sense of relief for getting a negative reading in my Hepatitis B, Syphilis, and HIV tests. Hooray me!

It may sound a bit distasteful, but I would still like to urge each and everyone who is entering a relationship or who engages in risky sexual behavior to get yourself tested. That goes to you, all single Filipino men who read my blog. Yes you, who don't like to wear condoms, who refuse to wear condoms at the point of no return.

I would like to stress that I am aware of the consequences all of the sexual activities I mention in my blog, and therefore, I take regular pap smears and gum stain tests from my gynecologist. I took a Pap Smear test last March, and a Gum staining test last August. They also came back negative, again to my relief. I would also urge all the women who read my blog to take responsibility for their sexual behavior. Please, please, it is for your own good.

For the longest time, I postponed getting an HIV test because I was afraid that I would be HIV positive. Now I feel that I have the peace of mind to go on with my life with Thom, who has tested HIV negative as well. God bless them foreigners, who refuse to take sexually risky behavior!

My medical technician/gyno intern friend encouraged me to take the test. He said that in his line of work, he has learned that HIV is not the big problem in the Philippines, but Hepatitis B! Apparently, Hepa-B is endemic in the Philippines. Syphilis is next in the list of top STDs in the Philippines. I decided not to take the Hepa-C test, since the probability of my acquiring it is low.

For all those who want to get tested, Here's everything you need to know: I had myself tested in Makati Medical Center. If you want to take the cheap route, donate blood at the second floor of the building, where the blood donation center is. I think the minimum donor amount is 600 cc of blood, and you get the results of your lab test and a blood donor card if you test negative for malaria, HIV, Syphilis, and Hepatitis B and C after 12 hours. If you are not able to donate blood because you smoke, weigh less than 110 pounds like me, drank alcohol 12 hours prior to bloodletting, or are menstruating, then get yourself tested at the Laboratory on the First Floor. Results for the HIV and Syphilis tests come out after a week, while the Hepa B tests will be released at the Nuclear Medicine department at the second floor after three working days.

The TPHA test for syphilis costs P 860, HIV Elisa test is only P 600. HBSAg test for hepa B and the test for Hepa-C is P 900 each.

Tomorrow, details of our San Pablo trip. Ta-ta!

Updates+Trip Part 2-Pagsanjan

Welcome to my blog! Yes, I've done some re-decorating, in commemoration of my first year in blogging. Thanks to Nikki Alfar, the interior decorator who executed my vision, and gave me some more features! Talented, beautiful and famous, what can I say? She rocks!

Doppleganger update
My elusive double has re-appeared again! She's eel-slippery I tell you, escaping from the grasp of my friend Leslie. read all about it in her blog

Please, please people. Everytime you run into her, y'all are so stunned speechless that you couldn't work up the gumption to approach her even if she's staring at you in the face! Get over yourselves. Slap yourself. Splash water over your face. No it's not me and you know it! Unless I had the the ability to either teleport or the gift of bilocation (I wish), or suddenly had the personality of a mouse, then it couldn't be me! Please help me solve this mystery!

Back to our story

---------

I woke up at 8 am, ready to face the day. I took several photos of the lake, and woke Thom up for breakfast. After a lackluster meal and a bath, we checked out of our stinky room and booked us a rapids ride.

The ride itself was uneventful, as our boatmen skillfully navigated our way through the river. We had many stops along the way, and Thom and I rolled our eyes at the noisy Korean and Japanese honeymooners that constantly streamed from the opposite direction. He was impressed by the foliage and scenery, which miraculously remained intact.

We got to the falls, and I was honestly less than impressed. Commercialism was everywhere. Locals did everything to milk a few bucks from the tourists, selling food and even altering the landscape, at the expense of the pristine beauty of the place. The boatmen even charged 90 pesos for an overloaded raft ride through the falls, into a cave behind it. Koreans apparently had to be "decently dressed" even while soaking wet. The women still had their jewelry and high heels on, while the men wore slacks! Thom decided to take a dip. I was not confident enough to do the same, because the current seemed too strong.

What we really wanted was to swim, not a view of the falls. Our boatman took us aside and said that we could swim at a spot off to the side of the falls. The path there was extremely rocky and unpredictable, and the waters were a little too deep, so we had to leave our equipment behind as we went to the direction he pointed.

What we discovered was a small pool, a trickle of a waterfall, and two or three rapids that led into a small dipping pool. It was perfect.

The best pictures I took were the ones not captured by my camera.
-------

The trip downstream was faster than the way to the falls. Upon disembarking, the boatmen demanded that we give them extra money.

Thom felt that the money we spent for the trip was enough, and that they didn't deserve a tip. He said that he had a policy of not tipping anybody who asked for it.
At this point we had an argument, because I felt bad for not tipping the men. I could hear them again make snide comments.

The boatmen heckled us on our way out of the resort, up until we reached the road, waiting for a ride out of Pagsanjan. All that time, I tried to convince Thom to give the boatmen money. He stubbornly argued that the money could be better spent somewhere else, as we could have unforseen expenses in the trip.

In a wounded voice, I told Thom "We should have just given a tip, even if it was just a hundered pesos. It is better to give them money that have them harass us like this!"

I let the boatman take a jeep ahead of us, so we could be rid of them.

With a sigh, He admitted that he may be wrong. We agreed to bring separate wallets in future trips.

I know that I will now avoid going to commercialized "nature" destinations.

Next Stop: San Pablo, Laguna

some of the pretty pictures



NikkiAlfar

Tobie Abad

Gabby Lee

Andre Mischa Cleofe

Trip part 1-Pagsanjan

Thom decided that he needed a breather, away from the city. "I want to go someplace green," he said. So off we went to Laguna, armed with nothing but a guidebook, our wits, and P 7,500 in cash. I wanted to see if I was hardy enough for that sort of thing, since I wanted to go into travel writing, after all.

Backpacking fun.
-------
I decided that I wanted to go to Caliraya, Laguna. But since the prices of lodgings there were out of our reach, we decided to go to the city next to it: Pagsanjan, Laguna. We set out at 2:14 p.m. from Buendia.

After a 3 hour bus ride, we arrived at the boundary to Pagsanjan, in Sta Cruz, Laguna. Immediately, locals offering us boat rides and lodgings swarmed us like flies. I knew why we were subjected to this harassment: Because Thom was white, and I was Pinay, and thought that we had money (more about this in a later entry). I was already at the point of losing my temper, and began snapping at the people. Thom, being an experienced backpacker said that this was normal, since tourism is their main source of livelihood. I should keep calm, since remaining irritated would do nothing. I decided to heed him and let him go through all the trouble haggling.
------

We set our sights at the Pagsanjan Garden Resort, which the guidebook said had "pretty gardens, a swimming pool, and was right by the lake." Accomodations for a room with a fan started at P 400. We considered this reasonable, and took a tricycle to get there.

We arrived at 5:30 p.m., more than ready to eat and rest after our journey. The gardens lived up to the guidebook. However, We were informed that we could not use the pool, since it was located by the guesthouse, which rents out for P 8,000 a month, and since the guesthouse was occupied, we could not use the pool.

Strike 1.

We looked at the accomodations. The room was depressing. It smelled of stale sex, and was furnished with one single bed, another double-deck bunk bed, and the walls were covered with fake wood panels. The air-conditioned rooms, which cost P 1,200 a night, were of the same depressing quality, with the air-conditioning. We both wanted out but since it was too late to look for another place, we decided that we could withstand the stinky room and spent the night there. We had no private bath, and had to use the public dormitory restroom. Thom argued with the management to give us discounted rates since their rooms were substandard, but management won.

We ate dinner at their restaurant. their prices definitely did not deserve the quality of their service and the food. I noticed that the employees were talking snidely about us behind our backs. I told Thom that it would pay for him to be nicer or to be less argumentative. "I just smile sweetly, bat my eyelashes, and they give me what I want, with something extra."

"No chance of that sweetie. I'm white. They'll never give us anything at the right price."

to be continued



NikkiAlfar
Tobie Abad>
Gabby Lee
Andre Mischa Cleofe

Coming in Pieces

I have been super-busy with all my jobs that sometimes, I can barely make heads or tails of my day. I have to go to my dorm to dress, then go over to Thom's place to live and sleep, wake up at 5 to go to work, then after that cover news for my second job. Thom complains that I work too much. Yes, the demands of a 14-hour workday is not easy.

Not that I'm complaining. I've asked God for this, I got what I wanted. Great jobs, great boyfriend, great food, great sex, and a great apartment. So I guess I can't really complain about the stresses of my less-than perfect work week.

Last Friday night, Thom and I were wakened by a 9 pm phone call. It was a request to work on Saturday to cover an 8 am Department of Trade and Industry meeting to make a press release for Mrs. Boss' daughter, an Undersecretary.

"That is not fair because they should pay you more. It is a weekend..."
And here he goes...the "Germany speech"
"...In Germany, employees can refuse work on a weekend."

But sweetie, we're not in Germany. And my employers, most certainly, are never fair.
------

We had a hectic Saturday ahead of us. We had a massage lesson at our apartment from 8 am to 12 pm from a licensed masseur I found to teach us how to give proper massages (his idea). I signed us up for a photography workshop in the Filipinas Heritage Library in Makati from 2 pm to 6 pm (my idea). This means that all our plans were shot to hell.

So I told Mrs. Boss' secretary that the photo workshop was at 10 am, and will try to make it there during the workshop lunch break. I hoped they would never catch my little white fib. I justified to myself that it was warranted, since they wanted me to work on Saturday on such short notice!

To ensure my presence, they had my mom call me at 8 am the next day to compel my attendance. I told her the same thing. Then I turned my phone off.
------

Mr. Masseur came on time. He was a great teacher, and Thom was a fast learner. Ha! Great massages from here on end for me! .

------

4 hours of massage lessons and an hour of crazy sex and a ___number of orgasms later, I found myself at the DTI meeting with my mind completely blank.

A slow panic was beginning to rise in my brain. I could't think. I knew I should feel alarmed, but strangely, I couldn't get myself to feel alarmed. Quick, quick I had to think, I had to think up of smart questions, I had to think up of

Ms. Undersecretary slowly walked toward me.

Could you come back at 6 pm, she asked? Come back when the meeting is over so you can conduct your interview properly.

Whew.
-----

I came back at 6:30 p.m., complete with my voluntary functions, and stayed until 8:30 pm. Poor Thom had it worse than me. He completely forgot his ATM card's PIN number, and now has to write to his bank in Germany and wait for a month for them to replace his PIN!

Playing House

There are certain advantages to living with your lover.

For one, I wake up next to a blond adonis every day.

I wake up to breakfast.

I live in an P 18,000 studio located at the 24th floor of a condominum four buildings away from my office, smack dab in the middle of Salcedo Village. I make P18,000 a month.

Sex on demand (his or hers, doesn't matter. The rougher and kinkier, the better)

Security, even if it may be false.

And certain disadvantages as well.

I have to contend with the unfamiliar mess

Unfamiliar food

Unfamiliar habits.

Someone who doesn't belive in my religion.

He sleeps with a blanket hog.

And no farting around each other!

I am so tempted to give up my place. The economic advantages are enormous. What's the point of paying the extra P 3,000 rent? However, I am aware that we might not be forever. Promises may fall short, Shit could happen. I need the other flat for my security.

And there are the social implications of living together. Yes, I do care about what other people think of me, especially my mother and my aunt. I have always been the goody-goody, and they were constantly in the dark about my extra-curriculars. They would be mortified out of their Catholic skulls if they discover that we have moved in together. Threats of eternal damnation, constant warnings that he's merely using me for sex. It's not unwarranted, but I'd rather not hear it right now.

I just don't want to hear "I told you so." Not from them.

So I should probably keep my place, just for show.

Another potential problem for me if this doesn't work out is if future *Filipino* dates discover that I had lived with a former boyfriend, I would be a dating pariah. I would constantly run into moralistic or insecure prudes who would turn me down because of it. Oh well, I probably won't be interested in dating those kinds of guys anyway.

Maybe I just need to grow up.



NikkiAlfar
Tobie Abad
Gabby Lee
Andre Mischa Cleofe

Kababawan

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who have a split personality - cold as ice on the outside but hot as fire in the heart.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.

Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage something you've always wanted... though you haven't really thought about it.

In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Sharing Pays

If I'm ever gonna get more freelance work, I really have to overcome my repulsion of talking about money.

I don't have a problem taking care of my money, but I have a problem talking about it. I feel slightly vulgar in speaking about it, because I feel that people will think I'm money-hungry (?) when I pride myself as someone who doesn't judge people on how much money they have.

Whenever I'm confronted with a situation where people ask me to quote how much money I charge, I cringe and give a mumbling response like, "it depends on your budget," or "well what do you think is fair?"

Last Saturday night, I took Thomas to one of my sideline jobs: doing voice-overs for audio-visual presentations, video games, and cartoons. Thomas was so impressed by my work and said that I'm worth much more than the P 700 pesos they paid me for an hour's worth of work, since the script consisted of five pages of dialogue, and pointed out that the boss was willing to give me P 1000. He said that he knew a guy in Germany, who was an actor in the German translation of Finding Nemo. He never charged less than 150 euros for an hour's work. He warned me that I might end up as the smartest guy in a team being milked by a slightly less-smart but more business-savvy boss for all I'm worth.

He's not the only one who has told me that I keep on undercharging my services. Maybe this boils down to not knowing how much I'm worth, how much I should demand for my services.

I try to be assertive in knowing the freelance rate for my writing or voice-over work but it seems that people never want to share their rates, especially for a noob like me. For this particular episode, I asked one of my voice-over friends (she is a regular voice actress in ABS-CBN) how much I should charge for this particular job. She replied by asking how much dialogue was involved, and who was in-charge of the studio I was dubbing for this time. I gave her my answer, and she never answered back! That just struck me as weird, because we were not in competition! Duh, they hired me already, no use in trying to find this person and usurp the job from me!

I understand that there are some career secrets that deserve secrecy, but this, in my eyes, is definitely not one of those times.

In my experience, it always pays to share what you have and what you know.The mark of true talent is when a person is able to be generous enough to share what they have, because they know there is more where it came from! Selfish people are merely digging a hole for themselves because people will eventually learn that you have no talent and people never want to work with you.

For example, My friend Leslie is now working on a job I passed on because I felt that the job reinforced Filipino colonial mentality (yes, yes, how Über-righteous of me), but since Leslie had no problem with it, she took the job, and is now very happy with her work. How did it pay for me? Well, let's just say that I get invited to very fun parties because of her! (Remember Joey? ;D)

As for Ms. Dubber, I guess its fair to say that I'll won't work with her ever, and will never recommend her to other people from now on, unless circumstance throws us seperately in the same voice job. Lesson for her: Never cut off an opportunity! Lesson for me: I need to learn the monetary value of what I do.



NikkiAlfar
Tobie Abad
Gabby Lee
Andre Mischa Cleofe

It!

Damn, I hate memes. But here goes...

7 THINGS THAT SCARE ME
1. The sight of blood
2. The sight of medical procedures
3. Being alone in a dark, spooky place
4. Natural catastrophies
5. Losing my loved ones
6. Being branded as stupid
7. Facing the consequences of 'not being good enough'

7 THINGS I LIKE MOST (in no particular order)

1. Books
2. My bed
3. My TV set
4. My journal
5. My friends
6. Kissing
7. Sex
8. good food

7 IMPORTANT THINGS IN MY ROOM

1. BED
2. TV SET
3. Clothes
4. Shoes
5. My documents
6. My jewelry
7. My books

7 RANDOM FACTS

1. I can be a bitch when I want to.
2. I choose to not be a bitch.
3. I'm actually a friendly person
4. I am not easily distracted when I'm doing something I like
5. I like sex, and I'm not ashamed to admit it
6. Only my parents and family can ever get me to sway my opinion. Oh, except for Thom
7. I hate HATE failure

7 THINGS TO DO BEFORE I DIE

1. Travel the world and consume 30 passports in the process
2. Become a travel journalist
3. Become a respectable journalist, artist, and photographer
4. Live in New York, London, and Tokyo
5. To estalish a reutation of being up for anything
6. To be remembered for my 'vibe,' to be a great spirit
7. To find the love of my life.
8. To learn at least 1 romance language

7 THINGS I CAN DO

1. Cosplay
2. Take semi-decent photos, and write decent articles.
3. I can be a great lay
4. Appear unflustered under pressure
5. Make amazing mashed potatoes, gravy, cookies and 'pinoy carbonara'
6. Be the most doggedly determined person on the planet
7. Trust someone completely.

7 THINGS I CAN'T DO

1. Do something I abhor
2. Like someody I don't like
3. Fake a freindship
4. Force myself to like somebody
5. Kill a person
6. Compromise my principles
7. Believe in myself completely

7 CELEB CRUSHES

Angelina Jolie
Jude Law
Justin Theroux (tama ba?)
ay madami masyado...

TAG YOU!

More than Like

Thomas and I have been officially together for a week now, and we are probably in our "Honyemoon stage" when I find everything he does adorable.

I am officially a convert to dating western men. I am glad that I decided to give the white guy a go. It's so refreshing to be in a relationship where everything is clear-cut and safe. No second-guessing, no gray areas. I know what to expect. I know what I'll get. Filipino men may be maalaga but western guys give it to you straight-up and honest. That is something I definitely like.

I practically live in his flat. He makes me breakfast. An amazing lover and a good cook. What more can a girl ask for?

He digs that I'm smart and that I give great massages.

He tells me he'd be crazy to let me go. I would be crazy if I let him go.

We are so deliriously happy that we are getting paranoid. We're waiting for us to fight, we're waiting for the other shoe to drop. We're so worried that everything moved so fast. But we also believe that since everything happened so organically and so naturally, could there have been any other way?

We're just thinking of today. I do agree in principle that it is best to live for today, but to actually practice it?

He's the wisest guy ever! I kept on stressing out about the future, and he told me a story about the time he and his best friend trekked across the Alps for 21 days, from Germany to Italy. He said that their co-trekkers who stocked up food for 2 months failed to complete the trek; they on the other hand brought only enough for two weeks and bought food from little pitstop villages along the way. It takes a lot for a man to shut up any of my arguments, and he did that very calmly. I'm waiting for the time when his unbelievably logical nature annoys me.

He is so uncompromising in his principles I am bowled over. We went grocery shopping, and he actually refused the plastic bag and placed everything in his big-ass mountaineering backpack. I watched with slight embarassment, amusement, and admiration as he placed an entire salami, jug of water, a stick of butter and assorted cold cuts into his bag. I know that it is common practice in Europe, but if I were in his shoes, I'd do as the Romans!

He stuck to his guns when the owner of his P 18,000 unit refused to pay for the cleaning of his sink's grease trap, which was already clogged when he got there. I would've just shrugged it off as something not worth stressing over, and forked over the P 100. But he does have a point.

Today, he gave me the keys to his flat. He is so unafraid of commitment! He's okay with the fact that my aunt doesn't like him! He's okay with my crappy house and my crappy dorm room! That my parents are worried about my future.

He is so helping me become an adult, and is slowly teaching me to not be bonded to my parents' opinions of my life, and actually shrug off my aunt's attempts to control my life.

He likes that I'm creative and do things my way.

We're not yet at the stage where we are comfortable with saying I love you, but his feelings for me are crystal-clear. He woke up last Sunday morning with a headache. I asked him if it could be because of the beer he drank last night, which he described as "shit." In his limited English, he answered "I think I'm scared. I definitely like you more than like."

Uncut!

(Editor's note: The subject matter is for adults or adult-minded people only. This is a clinical essay on a sexual subject. Salacious comments are NOT WELCOME. Thank you.)

Most Filipino men are circumcised by age 13, so I do not really have friends who have ever expereinced what it is like to be with "The Uncut." Unless you're dating a Muslim, a Filipino, most Americans or a Jew, chances are your man has not undergone "the knife."

There is still a debate among men and parents everywhere on whether to cut or not to cut. I do not have any personal preference, but this is one thing I am sure of: I was shocked when I first saw an uncirumcised penis. Sure, sure: it was what God gave them, au naturele. But I was so unused to the sight that I actually stared at it for almost a full minute, quite unsure on how to use it. It's like handling a Mac after being a life-long PC user: It sure has the same functions, but the layout was weird!

Honestly, there is really no difference with having sex with a man who has not had the surgery with a man who has. However, the handling of the uncircumcised is very different. DO SO WITH CAUTION!

Remember the episode in Sex and the City when Charlotte first experienced sex with an uncircumcised man? Well, it does not look like a Shar-pei (I guess it was that man's quirk) but the willie sure looked like it had its own carrying purse! So instead of the shroom-man, expect to see something in the shape of a missile.

Think of it as a Tootsie Roll: You have to unwrap it to get to the goodies inside. After you get over the sight, demand that your man wash his equipment before use. NO IFS OR BUTS! Even if you have to drag him to the restroom kicking and screaming! Unless you like the taste of smegma. Yum!

Gently unroll the head. Sometimes, it naturally rolls off when it becomes erect, so when that's over with, remember that unlike a circumcised penis YOU CANNOT DO JUST AS YOU PLEASE JUST YET! I usually ask a man to teach me how he likes his desserts, but with an uncircumcised guy, you have to be v-e-r-y gentle. His head down there has not been exposed to the elements, and is therefore more sensitive than average. A stray tooth would send him into a world of pain.

After that it's pretty much the same. So I guess it is at this time you can relax and enjoy the ride. Foreskin is a bit flimsy, so overdoing it could rip the head open and this can cause infection. So if you're doing it bare, don't try too hard.

And no, it does not look bigger.



NikkiAlfar
Tobie Abad
Gabby Lee
Andre Mischa Cleofe

Ost-West

I don't really go out with white men. I think they're big, lumbering, and hairy, much like Bigfoot. I don't like hairy men. They scare me. In my limited experience in dating Caucasians, I just don't really feel the vibe, since I am under the impression that they are very condescending toward our culture and people.

So I wasn't really expecting much last Saturday when I had dinner with Thomas, the German. He is 20, an intern for the Konrad Adenauer Foundation. We met during the State of the Nation Address ceremonies.

I was pleasantly surprised when we found out that we had a lot in common. He loves the beach and traveling. He just came from an exchange-student program in Bali, Indonesia (wise, that boy), and showed me his pictures during his stay there. He grew himself a full, shaggy mountain man beard (eww!), and had a laugh over his experiences.

We had dinner at a restaurant in Greenbelt, where we exchanged stories and information about our cultures. It wasn't really that I was attracted to him, more like we felt very at ease with each other.

Throughout the dinner, he talked about his life as a POOR GERMAN STUDENT (think Hideki from Chobits). So when time came to pick up the tab, I voluntarily picked up my wallet to foot my share of the bill. Normally, I wouldn't do this since Filipino women are taught that you should never pick up the tab during dates. However, I wanted to be sensitive to European customs, since he has only been in the Philippines for a week. How would he know about Filipino customs?

He said that he wanted to go somewhere quiet, so we went to my favorite hang-out place in Quezon City, Seventy-7 bar. We talked for a bit more, and he did the whole finger-tracing-palm routine (apparently, this very corny and awkwardly romantic practice trancends culture and races among college boys). It was just then when my phone rang. It was my sister, asking what I was wearing and how the date was going. Of couse, we were speaking in Filipino. I told her that I was in the Mango jumpsuit she picked out for me, and, somewhat sheepishly, admitted that we went dutch during the date. This provoked an outraged "Ano ba yan!" from my sister. I explained to her that this was European custom, and I just wanted to make the dude feel comfortable.

A few minutes after the call, the phone rings. Oh my, my sister told my overprotective aunt, who lives in Las Vegas, about my date! Just then I wanted to kill my pregnant sister. Okay, the big guns are calling. I needed to be calm and get this over quickly.

This is a translated approximation of our conversation.

"Is it true you went dutch?"
"Well, yes. I just wanted to be polite and follow their customs."
"He's in the Philippines!" she exclaimed. "He should be following our customs!"
"But how would he know about our customs? He's barely been here for a week?"
"Well, educate him."
"Tita, he's a poor German student. Like, he receives money from his parents. He doesn't work yet. I just didn't want to impose."
"And why, of all places, would you go to some secluded place in Quezon City? Why go so far?"
"This is not a secluded place! It's right along E Rodriguez! It is not a strange far-away place! Besides, this is my favorite restaurant. I celebrated my 22nd birthday here!"
"Fine. Is he with you."
"He's right beside me."
"All right, we'll talk later."

I had a bad feeling about this.

To Thomas' credit, he did admit that he felt embarassed because while I worked for my money, he still relied from dole-outs from his parents and the German government. Ahh, welfare.

-----

The very next day, my aunt unleashed the furies.

"Why would you allow yourself to go on a date and go dutch! Do you know what that shows? It shows that he doesn't respect you! He has no idea what you're worth!"
"Nooo it does not! I was just following customs! I just didn't want to impose."
"He's the one in the Philippines, he should adjust to our customs."
"Tita, just because we went dutch doesn't mean that he doesn't respect me; I've gone out with Filipino men who paid for everything who turned out to be complete assholes."
"If he really was a decent person, you wouldn't have gone as far as Quezon City!"
In a withering tone, I replied, "Tita! I tell you right now: you won't find any decent men in the world."
"I don't think so. I don't think so."
Exasperated, I snap back, "besides, he's white. We don't really know how he thinks! If he pays for everything, he might expect things from me!"
"No, that's not true. What about Steve? I don't think he expected things from you."

Steve was her former boss, a Bill Clinton look-alike twice my age who treated me to P 11,000 dinners and gave me my Canon EOS SLR camera in a bid to curry my favor. My family was seriously pushing me to marry him, but I said no because it was gross and I felt that he was not trustworthy. I was vindicated a few years later.

"Really Tita? Really? Do you really think Steve expected nothing from me?"

"Oh well, really, next time, if you know the dude has no money, just take him to a cheap place"
"Look, the only reason I took him there because it was quiet. He wanted quiet. You don't find quiet in Makati."
"There has to be other quiet and cheap places in Makati."
"Tita, believe me, all the cheap and quiet places in Makati are beer halls. Otherwise, the quiet places in Makati hawk P 150 beers. That's the cheapest beverage on the list. And you know I don't drink alcohol."

This battle was completely pointless and ended in a draw.

I found comfort with my friends and my mother, who totally saw my point. My mother even gave me a piece of advice. "That's why I never dated Americans when I was single. Once, an American guy courting me brought a box of chocolates to our house. I thought they were for me, but it turned out that it was for him."



Nikki Alfar
Tobie Abad
Gabby Lee
Andre Mischa Cleofe

SONA-A day in my Life

What I like about being part of the entire State of the Nation Address ceremonies is the feeling of being invited to the year's most exclusive party. Granted, I'm working the entire time, but being in the same room with the President, dis-"honorables" and people from all over the country? I'm basically rubbing elbows with people from diverse professions, ages, and socio-economic backgrounds.

I feel privileged to be part of the staff every year. It stirs my sense of patriotism and hope that maybe, things will be different. To be part of something that makes the country work (though many of us are frustrated because things seem to be going otherwise) is something that completely blows my mind.

This is the first SONA I've worked as a photographer. I was an usher in the past years, before I asked for this assignment.

Anyway, here's the SONA through my eyes.



The media setting their gear up for the big event



Menial task of the day: I was with Mrs. Boss in her car. We were cruising through EDSA when my mistress had a hankering for bananas. I ran across Guadalupe Market, in heels, looking for a bunch.



With Miko's Nikon F4, attached with a 300 mm lens. Damn that bitch has a fat ass! I had to lug that four pounder all day. Playing with the boys in the photographer's gallery. No flash, bawal sa proceedings eh.



Hello, Ramos?



Mindanao lawmakers applaud the parliamentary/federal government proposals.



The "pala" boys. Look at them generals! Uniforms!!!!



You have to love the free food.



Thomas, A German intern working for the Konrad Adenauer Foundation. Saturday's bound to get interestin ;)

SONA Fashion

Always interesting



Somebody's gotta tell him that Tony Ferrer is the original "da man."



A Manobo mother-daughter tandem. Gotta love the outfits!



Wonder what he's saying?



Don't hate her cos she's president.

WARNING! Men in Uniform Right Ahead!

Ahhh, the annual State of the Nation Address. I love going to the SONA. It's like Sailor Week in New York! Nothing makes my insides tingle like seeing all those men in uniform! Navy, Marine, Bugle Corps, SWAT...MEN IN UNIFORM ARE HOT!

Yes, I do have a thing for men in uniform. In fact, one of my sexual fantasies involve a man, in uniform, and the movie "An Officer and A Gentleman." Whether they're cassocks, school uniforms, and especially military uniforms, there's something to be said how a men, especially a military man, looks in dress whites.

Even if a man is bald, ugly, and has the biggest beer belly in the planet, donning a uniform makes him instantly one hundred times more appealing. It's as if he stands up straighter, his chin becomes more chisled, and turns god-like in awe-inspiring power.

My hercules, my warrior has come home to claim me. I Tarzan, You Jane.

Yes, I'm a brainless brute.

So this year, I decided to take shots of all those cute men in uniform. Ready girls?



Left: Philippine Army Capt. Adelio Abrugena. Married with three children. Likes to run in marathons.
Right: Philippine Army Capt. Jesse Montoya. Has a dimple in his left cheeck. Very shy.



Capt. Ivan Papera of the Philippine Marines. He likes to play basketball.



Philippine Navy Lieutenant Christopher Salimbangon. Married. Likes to ride motorcycles, practice target shooting with his guns, and to play golf.



I'm with P02 Edmundo Nabor, one of The Boss' security men. He has a crush on me, but what he doesn't know is that I have a crush on him, too! He's 23, and topped the police examinations in Baguio when he joined the force. However, he's reluctant to ask me out because he's afraid of my mom, aka The Boss' secretary (wuss!). It makes going to work a little more bearable.


Lt. RR Abendan is one of The Boss' aides-de-camp. He's from the Philippine Navy and has a beautiful and buxom girlfriend, also named Catherine, who's still in school (ha!)



Sgt. Glen Galvatorres of the K-9 Special Reaction Unit. He likes his dog.

There you have it, folks! Hope you enjoy looking at the men as much as I did! Hail the uniform!



Nikki Alfar
Tobie Abad
Gabby Lee
Andre Mischa Cleofe

The Story of My Life

Feeling a bit dramatic today...

It's all in the Name

I have a penchant for dating oddly named men. How many girls you know have dated a Kweku, an Irran, and a Mervyl? Maybe it's not the name. More likely I have a penchant for picking guys with commitment issues.

Maybe the reason why I end up with guys with interesting names is because the names become a self-fulfilling monicker; they end up being unique because of their unique names. And I do have to admit, it takes a lot to keep me interested in one guy.

Sometimes, I do wish I could pick out an ordinary guy. Somebody named Joey (oh wait, I did date a Joey), or Mark (hm, I've dated a Mark, too) or a Patrick (no offense to Sephie :D).

For some reason, I am convinced that I will have a son (please remain as optimistic as I am, people!). I want to name my son Jacob, aka Jake. A Jake sounds like a man, a manly man, man's man name. "Hey Jake, wanna play ball?" "Hey Jake toss me a beer!"

See what I mean?

For my future daughter, I'm partial to Dru. It does seem lame to name my daughter after a vampire on Buffy, the Vampire Slayer, but Dru seems like a hip name. She sounds like she's a tough, no-nonsense chick who can be one of the guys. It's not too feminine, but you know that she's drying her nails while she's kicking some loser's ass.
-------

I wanna speak out on the Jude Law thing. Not to excuse his infidelity, but if I were the nanny, how on earth could I refuse Jude Law? The most beautiful man on earth wants to be my sperm donor! He's hot, he's talented. He may not have morals, but that can be worked on. How can I refuse those genes?

All I'm saying is, I can't blame the nanny.

Sienna Miller is gorgeous, and can get herself another gorgeous man. It takes a beautiful person to have the self-esteem to be able to refuse another beautiful person. Way to go Sienna!

Since Jude is now single, he can make a deposit in my bank. Anytime. ;)
----

I stress, however, that this invitation is open to Jude Law and Jude Law alone. Not to you, Mr. Star Wars poseur. Whatever you heard about me is completely wrong.

"Cath, wasup, **** here, no one will ever know naman, eh, cmon just for once"

Does this line ACTUALLY work on women? Stupid!

No one will ever know? Yeah, right. You'll probably tell people that I've spread myself open, even without the benefit of the actual event.

To the man of the everchanging phone numbers (yes, you know who you are).

Screw you.

Man, I feel like a Woman!

For the first time in my entire life, I actually do feel an "adult-ness" that is entirely new and wonderous.

Of course, as soon as I say this, something will happen that will take me down a peg, and put me back on square one.

I like the person I am becoming. I like the person I have become. I do annoy myself a lot, which is not a good thing.

I feel that I now have more patience for other people (as patient as I can get--i still am a very impatient person), for where they are and what they are and why they are.

I like my body. I like how I look. I am very satisfied with it.

Gosh, I cannot believe how afflicted my self-esteem was in my early youth! How I wanted to be other people so badly!

Now, I'm just glad to be myself.

-----

The Girls are a group of friends, former acquaintances who have somehow, banded together and share innermost questions women share with their girlfriends. Of course, I've had good girl friends before, but this is the first time that I have a group of girlfriends whom I shop with and talk about everything-- uncensored!

Leslie is two years younger, and is about as experienced with men as I am. A certified shoe-aholic and shop-aholic, she is tickled that she finally has a "Sex In the City" bunch to call her own. She is the first girl in the posse I became close to. She likes to call herself the "Carrie" of the group.

Jewel is a lot like Miranda. A really tough chick. Bisexual, but is currently dating a guy. We were acquaintances before because of cosplay, but we only became close because of Leslie, her former high school classmate. She was a member of her high school basketball and soccer team, and nothing pisses her off more than men who stare at her very ample bosoms. Caution: She packs a mighty right hook. And how!

K is the youngest, also a cosplayer. Really smart, she's taking up an aeronautics something course in London (yes, England!). She's a bit heartbroken now because she broke her vow to give up her virginity to the man she'll marry, since the current Japanese dude she's seeing is apparently not the one (quite a shocker!)

I am of course the oldest and guess what role I just assumed? Of course, I just HAD to be in PR, just like Samantha!



Nikki Alfar
Tobie Abad
Gabby Lee
Andre Mischa Cleofe

A Week in Narcoleptic Hell

I now realize why I was a klutz with bad skin as a teen--it was because was constantly sleep-deprived at the time! It wasn't because I didn't want to sleep. It was because I couldn't. I was constantly reading, daydreaming, watching tv,burning telephone lines, passionately into the Band of the Moment or crushing/swooning to realize that it was already 2 am on a school night.

Cathy now knows that she needs her sleep. Yes, sleep is indeed my friend.

The rumor was only the start of a week where technology and my mind seemed to work against me. It has been a very busy week, adjusting to my new routine, of being up late at night to submit stories on time to my editors in the US, then waking up at 5 to get to work for the Boss.

This Monday, on the way to the gym, my foot fell into a gap between the metal grating that covered a deep gutter in Pasay Road. I had not realized that some bufoon had sawed off a key in the grill, creating a hole big enough to accommodate my foot. Poor me has a dark, dark bruise near my elbow and my left knee. Had I not been holding on the jeep I was going to board, I would have dislocated my hip.

Tuesday,Wednesday, and Thursday was a blur, and I had literally traversed all of Manila in those two days. Days seemed to blend into each other, and I recall feeling the same light-headedness I felt the time I stayed up for THREE STRAIGHT DAYS to finish my thesis. Though I don't drink coffee, it had sustained me through that entire time.

I was supposed to meet my sister on Friday afternoon for an afternoon of shopping fun. I was on my way to deposit cash into my BPI Family Bank ATM using their Express Deposit Machine in their Park Square 1 branch when the machine not only ate my card, it also ate my P 1000 deposit! An hour of consternation later, I was told that I could only retrieve my card on Monday, but they would have to verify whether I did deposit money into my account. If verified, they would only credit it to my account on Friday!

Saturday afternoon through early Sunday morning devoted to a night out with the girls. After spending hours at the Starbucks near the Robinsons Galleria theaters, we decided to take the party to Libis. It was in Libis where I realized that I had left my wallet at Starbucks! I literally felt my knees buckle as I mentally ticked off what important documents I had in my wallet. It was at this time that I felt grateful that the machine ate my ATM. I called every person I could think of who lived in the Pasig/Mandaluyong area to plead, if they can go to Rob Gale and ask the Starbucks staff if they had found my wallet. My friends were either asleep or out of the house. (Me: DUH! of course, it's a Saturday night!) After ascertaining that only my debit card was in danger, I called the card company to have it cut.

Thank you, thank you honest Starbucks employees for keeping the wallet and giving it back when I returned the next day! Oh joy! My card was still cut, but at least I have it back, and I knew that my money was safe.

A lesson learned: I need my eight hours.

A Neil Gaiman Fangurl Moment

LOLZ!

Taken by my camera. Captured by Sephiroth.